Reply To: Roleplay – Wrestling eFeds

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I wrote this piece about a week ago. As it involved another character from the federation I got their permission to post it on the feds roleplay board.

They offered some better dialogue for their character and introduced the cardboard cut out of their old tag team partner Rage.

My character Regal is an arrogant heel character. L Double E has found an old world title belt and is claiming to be the champ. L double E is getting a mixed reaction with fans, but would generally be a heel too.

Both were often mid card wrestlers even though they have had titles in their past.

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Scenes opens to show EIWF head Quarters, Regal is strolling across the lobby, he heads to the lift and pushes the call button, he notices it is coming up from the basement, it stops and the doors open.
L double E, the Anti-Hero is already inside, stood next to a cardboard cut out of Rage, Regal enters, looking mildly confused and tuts to himself, he pushes for the level he wants, and the doors close.

They don’t seem to have anything to say to each other and stand awkwardly in opposite corners of the lift. As they descend the lift judders to a halt. Regal tuts and presses the emergency call button and an electronic sounding recording plays in the lift cab.)

LIFT: “Thank you for calling Lake’s Lifts Response. We are aware that (pause) Lift One (pause) is experiencing a temporary fault. A remote reboot is under way and (pause) Lift One (pause) will be operational again shortly. We apologise for any inconvenience.”

(After some uncomfortable glances from Regal, Regal eventually breaks the silence.)

Regal: “Seeing as we’re stuck, can I speak with you briefly?

LEE: Well you do know there’s only the three of us in the elevator and I know it wasnt me so it must have been you or Rage…..and it stinks!!!

Regal: I mean about business naturally.”

LEE: “It’s a free country, thanks to kicking you tyrannical Brits out all those years ago.”

Regal: “That’s by the by; 1776 was a long time ago. I’m sure an anti-hero like yourself is chuffed to having an idiot like Trump in charge.”

LEE: “No comment. Politics isn’t my thing, but still kinds of reminds me of the Prez here at the EIWF!

(Awkward silence for a few seconds)

Regal: “I saw your latest promo. Nice work sir.”

LEE: “Not sure I care, but is that English sarcasm or did you actually like it, as ​I dont want any ass kissing, This aint another Jimmy/Suicide thing going on.

Regal: “How dare you, I do not Ass kiss, that is not what the stiff upper lip is for,  I actually thought it was great. I appreciate that you’re a lone wolf like me and say it how you see it. It’s refreshing; with all the lies and double talk from the rest of the roster.”

LEE: “Can’t disagree. except your not really a lone wolf, your British….so more a lone corgi?

(Awkward silence for a few seconds)

Regal: “You seem to have hatred for the numb heads in the New Era Icons and that’s a sentiment I can get behind.”

LEE: “Well I saw your latest promo too. It wasn’t great, but I did like your protest the other week. Making Ellis Black stand in the ring like a dick swinging in the wind. He didn’t know what to do about it. If he was any kind of champion he would have…”

Regal and LEE (in unison): “… run down the aisle and started the fight on the ramp.”

(They both chuckle awkwardly, surprised that they said the exact same thing).

Regal: You know… Lone wolves usually struggle in the wild. Wolves almost always fight as a pack.

LEE: Are you suggesting we should become a Tag Team or something? ​You do realize who’s here?
( L double E covers the ears of the Rage cardboard cut out )
LEE: Because you would be the right candidate to be the mark two version of the zero in the Hero and Zero connection, as​ Rage’s heart aint in it anymore.

Regal: Easy Tiger, slow down, you should take me out to dinner first.

LEE​: thats fine, as long as we go dutch, and we dont follow Eddie D into any restaraunt, as half the menus gone.

REGAL: Touché!!

LEE: Anyway I am already a champion Regal. EIWF World Champion. I don’t need a Tag title run. No offence but I dont think you could replace Rage….
( L double E hugs the cardboard cut out ) Thanks but no thanks.

Regal: I wasn’t suggesting that we Tag up. Was just saying that we both hate NEI. Now Crew Havoc is over I just thought…

(The lift jumps back into life and starts to descend again)

LEE: You just thought you’d get a helping hand from the World Champ? Your looking for some of the Anti-Hero magic to help you up the champiosnhip ladder…… I’m an anti-hero, not a super hero….I cant work miracles, I don’t need another sidekick right now, I got this guy to look after.
( L double E pats the cardboard cut out of Rage on the head )

Regal: I am no one’s side kick sonny Jim. I just thought as you’re not being taken seriously as world champ and I’m hardly taken seriously at all, you’d appreciate the support.

LEE: “Not being taken seriously as World Champ? Where did you …”

(The lift door stops and the doors open up with a ping)

Regal: “I can tell this was a mistake. Good day to you sir. I say good day!”

(Regal storms out of the lift.)

LEE: “Have a nice day. You uptight Brit Bastard”, come on rage!

Regal: No wonder you’re best friend’s a card board cut out; you’re infuriating!

(L double E tucks rage under his arm but pauses and strokes his chin as though mulling an idea over, shakes his head and walks off out of the lift. The display on the lift pings and reads “Out of Order”. The scene ends.)

***