Reply To: 15mm, 20mm, 28mm, GO! (UJWC)

[unclejimmy 9225xp 2]

@Ceppie – an ‘understanding’ – is that where you said, “Get a grip…”, but with a rifle. They replied, “Yes Sir!”

If you have never tried carving stone then let me tell you that after an hour I was done. It wasn’t marble, but just trying to get ANYTHING smooth is impossible. I know that the ‘item’ is supposed to already exist within the block of stone, but it’s the getting to it that is the art bit.

Once, I tried to sculpt using a clay-like stuff that you can cure with a hair dryer. I did a hand, a couple of bones I copied from a book, and a nose. The hand was not bad, the bones must have come from the Isle of Dr. Whatsit, and the nose was way too jewish. The girl I copied it from used to get double-takes when walking through Gateshead on a friday morning. To quote Spike Milligan when describing Doctor Goldstein, “So Semetic did he look that even at all Hebrew parties you could hear people saying, ‘…who’s that Jewish-looking fella?'”

When I was a teenager she was an item of outstanding beauty to me. Nothing dirty either. She still lives close to my parents, but I haven’t seen her for 20 years. My dad informed me that she is now a ‘big fat cow’. I forget his exact words, but I am sure it was something about having 4 children and looking like “a shocked Hippopotamus”, but I have no idea what he means. He did work in a factory!

I’ll post some update pictures when my phone charges. My camera is away being fixed so I have resorted to using the camera on my phone. It is not bad, but it just feels wrong.