The Empire Responds to the invasion of the Uruk Hai

Oh Dear. 

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. The dwarves are in trouble.

After a lengthy campaign, fought over 3 months of mini games, the 200 dwarf and human defenders found themselves utterly besieged on all sides. Short of manpower and short of gunpowder. A Queen, daughter of the Grand Duke Von Uberwald II the Count of this entire province of the Empire. She takes shelter from certain kidnapping and extortion by the evil wizard Saruman on behalf of his foul master. Equally daunting for the queen is the thought of the two rogue wizards trying to win her hand in marriage. One evil and twisted wizard and his twin currently lodged outside the town walls keeping warm on the dung heap. All Hoping and Praying for deliverance from their allies, unable to send out for additional aid. An army of 1800 orcs, goblins, hordes of Chaos and dead men lay at their doors as well as within the bowls of their ancient halls. Unseen, unknown, moving in the shadows. Today we find out if the Dwarves can protect the Queen from the ruthless machinations of the enemy.

This whole campaign was started as an experiment. I wasn’t sure if a siege would be fun to play out, i have had many conversations about this scenario being boring, being lacking in dynamic play, lacking in strategy or just a grind for nothing at the end. Conversely, there are players that have said its the only way to play Warhammer in all its glory. It is the best way to end a campaign. There is nothing as exciting for gamers than to see a giant table of a siege game being played. So who the bloody hell is right? Lets find out.

After consulting the wise and sorcerous companions of my gaming life, it was decided that the great and noble Ben Crouch would provide the human town walls and evidence of town life. He and his daughter did a superb job! The centrepiece model was done by the captured dwarf smith responsible for last years dwarf blimp model. Who knows how long his orc playing son tortured him, but in the end even a dwarf can stand only so much. Ryan Gullies master maker produced the most epic siege ram i have ever seen, Ghrond in 28mm scale, 3d printed and adjusted for our gaming needs. What a model.

The gaming table was 29 feet long by 6 foot wide, except by the siege walls where it was 9 feet wide. the biggest game we have done to date. leading up to this game i had set up a WhatsApp community group with 3 sections. One open to all players has been used as a newsletter and general info page. One section was a closed group accessible to only the defending players, another a similarly closed group available to attacking players. Anyone could DM me as the games master about any topic or command they liked. A map (Badly drawn) was made of the region and starting places of the respective forces that would see the campaign through. Each side had 12 scouts they could send out over the 3 months we played games. I made sure that each month people gave me orders for the following months campaign manoeuvres and resource management. I briefed both sides separately, each completely ignorant of the other except that the attacking forces ultimate goal was to lay siege to the dwarf hold in the mountains. If they wanted to know more they would have to move forces on the map, play games and send out scouts. 

Each side was short of food, each short of gunpowder, the defenders need reinforcements and the attackers need woodland for material to make siege equipment.

Let the orders commence.

Notable campaign moments on the defending side:

1. In a stroke of brilliance it was asked if the blimp could be used simultaneously as a supply runner and scout platform. Due to holy writ within the Gotrek and Felix novels proving this was possible it was accepted and the limitations and capacities of the blimp drawn up. Much food and heroes where transported thanks to this daring use of experimental engineering. Engineers sent out by airship to the fatal battle of the barrow downs reignited the cold boilers of the steam tanks. the tanks started making their way to the siege keeping behind the main enemy advance whose eyes where sole fixed towards the front.
2. The beacons where lit, the dwarf hold calls for aid!
3. An ogre mercenary force was dispatched to infiltrate into the enemy forces and pretend to be their allies until the smoke signal was given for them to show their true colours…….the enemy accepted the services of this warrior group with eager hands.
4. Manlingville and holy temple forces where expertly manoeuvred around known enemy positions, without detection, to ambush enemy forces on the final siege game while steam tank and mounted rapid reinforcements (they saw the beacon) approached the enemy from the rear 

  Notable campaign moments for the attacking side:

1. The attackers made excellent use of scouts, establishing most positions of defending forces and spotting where they where sending resources. As a result of this much food was gathered (almost enough!) the undead headed towards the mines to capture black powder and try to enter the hold via underground passageways.
2. Skaven infiltrated past mines defences and secretly entered dwarf hold to harvest the souls of the dwarf ancestors within the tomb complex. Using the soul orb, won in the large boating adventure to skull island, the Skaven assassin harvested all the ancestors spirit energies for 10’s of thousands of years. The rat used the long defunct Stargate to secrete night goblin and grey seer forces into the hold over the months leading up to the big siege. Also Grey seer Thanquol himself took charge of the expedition. Despite numerous minor dwarves being killed when they stumbled upon the Skaven the defenders did not send to look into these bodies when it was brought to their attention.
3. The undead commanders fell out. The vampire known as ‘The Witch King’, whose daughter was killed before his very eyes in the last battle, stole a soul orb from his rival vampire ‘Agador Spartacus’. Agador had been using this orb as blackmail against the witch king claiming he had harvested the soul of his daughter as she died that day. the orb was confirmed that it contained the tortured soul of his daughter. he retrieved it while Agador slept and infiltrated the dwarf hold looking for one of the twin queens bodies to use as a vessel for his poor daughter and bring her back to this world.
4. The undead won the mines and claimed a great siege bombard for the big game and sent out skirmish forces to attempt to undermine one of the main walls and poison the well of the defenders. The well was successfully poisoned, the undermine attempt not only failed but the dwarves who lost the mines originally, came back as slayers and in their shame blew up all the passageways collapsing the tunnels and stopping the undead horde from reaching the under halls. the defenders now only had enough gun powder for 3 turns of shooting.
5. A zombie dragon and zombie giant was scouted for and found in the southern mountains, the undead retrieved these without countermeasure from the defenders despite hints being given that packs of carrion and ravens had been spotted cycling around in the sky and travelling closer to the dwarf hold. The massive creatures had been secured for the big days game.
6. The attackers sent out a team of wyverns to ambush the dwarf blimp and played out a sky battle. the wyverns managed to defeat the blimp and damaged it very heavily. the blimp would need repairs and it was rolled off and found that the blimp could not join the final battle until turn three with 2/3 of its hull points intact. One wyvern rider fell to his death leaving the creature to wander off on its own. The great saruman took up the saddle and rode this creature personally into battle on the final day.

All this was very exciting to play out and had fantastically brilliant consequences on the big day. The inventiveness and tactics on display was a joy for me as a DM, not only to see it but to facilitate it being applied to the games. 

As a result i could gleefully reveal to all 16 participants on the first morning of play, what the full story was. Many groans where had by the attacking players when they found out they had to randomly sacrifice a unit as food was short by one week. Each week they where short was equivalent to needing to eat one regiment to maintain the good health of the troops. So it could have been worse! 

More Groans when they discovered the reinforcements and steam tanks coming in the rear.

the surprise attacks and turncoat ogres was to come later at the instruction of the defenders.

Groans where had by the defenders AND attackers when they discovered how the Skaven had been playing for their own game, yes yes. Who cares what your allies are doing eh? They had their own ratty business.

Cheers went up for the defenders when it was ruled the poisoning of the dwarf well had no effect as the brewing process killed any disease when they make xxxxxx Busman’s own ale. Dwarves don’t drink water. Had the undead only thought to have done it to a human well!!!

Then we moved on to Jeff, sitting on that dung heap, all forlorn.

His evil twin was with the Chaos forces, painted expertly by our dear Stuart who just nailed the flavour of an evil twin produced by accidental magical mitosis. Evil Jeff wanted to get to the Queen and marry her.

Good Jeff also wanted to marry her. BUT! What self respecting Queen would ever consider the approaches of a socially awkward, inept, magically failed, wandering wizard who smelled of dung. Thank you Mathews wee lass for presenting me with this conundrum!

But I found the solution. Travelling with a bunch of Halflings who had a strange love of cocks that fight was an old acquaintance of Jeffs.  

The Best Sailor, the best Shot, the best kisser in England. WOOF!

SPECIAL RULES!

1. Eat knuckle Fritz!! or ‘What a POOF!’ (Its just a quote!!! Relax…..call off the ninjas! The 80’s was different days.)

A free pistol shot can be made against any opponent of noble or hero like bearing. If the shot wounds successfully it counts as a killing blow made while flashes opponent was waxing lyrical at ‘how poetically beautiful it is that such heroic men should finally meet..AAAARGHHGH!’

2)  Eat knuckle Fritz! (the proper one)

If flash charges successfully, he may take an initiative test. If passed then his opponent in base contact (the one obviously straight in front of him) cannot attack back in the first round of combat.

3) I’ve got a plan! And its as hot as my pants!

Flash may rally any single nearby unit that is broken and within 8 inch of him at the start of a turn.

4) Don’t worry girls, Flash is NOT dead! He just ran out of JUICE!

If Flash is killed in combat, he can make an immediate initiative test. If passed, he comes back with one wound.

5) GIT!

Not everyone likes flash. Any nearby nobles within 8 inches are at -2 leadership.

6) Hi Queeny, you look sexy. WOOF!

All females, no matter how high born (including royals), fall in love with Flash when they come into base to base contact. Enemy included! As long as he stays with them. They do whatever he likes!

It is good Jeffs mission to get flash to the the queen and have her married off to flash with Jeff officiating. 

Evil Jeff will cast a love spell on her if he is in base to base contact.

As GM, I will be taking command of good Jeff. Any time i announce ‘The Lord Flashheart, WOOF!’ Then every player in the room must shout ‘WOOF’ in return. Anyone who doesn’t will receive one wound to their character representing them on the board.

This worked so well that a room full of shy, introverted people found themselves hollering ‘woof’ at the top of their lungs and, on many many occasions, developing a nervous tick response whenever they heard a hint of a sound that may be flash or heart. Such a tick produced a few lone participants finding themselves shouting ‘woof’, just in case……..

over to the players:

FILL IN HERE WITH PLAYERS RECOLECTIONS.

The Siege of Voltenberg (Dwarfish: Umgi-Migdhal) by Commander Ben Von Crouch

In Voltenberg, a hastily formed alliance of Empire troops waited, confident in their commanders but still apprehensive of the expected onslaught. The walls were manned by halberdiers, mercenary ogres, crossbowmen, and a contingent of elite Teutogen guard. In the town a crowd of flagellants milled around, oblivious to the trepidation of the gloriously attired knights who observed them with a mixture of awe and distain. Great cannons had been winched on to rooftops and up in to towers whilst a Helblaster volley gun guarded the entrance to the Dwarfhold. Townsfolk filled the streets desperate to buy exorbitantly priced supplies in the market square. Kislevite Kossars and archers waited behind the walls, ready to contribute with arrows and axes should the need arise. On the hillside abutting the Northern wall, batteries of artillery were drawn up behind a protective wall of manned war carts and supported by regiments of Imperial guard, halberdiers and more crossbowmen. A second mob of flagellants prepared themselves for the ultimate sacrifice.

With dawn came the assault. A horde of the unquiet dead appeared from the mist shrouded southern hills. Vast skeleton regiments trudged forward, one group pushing a large covered battering ram whilst others positioned catapults and the huge siege bombard. Chariots and Black Knights surged towards the Empire artillery whilst scouting ghouls raced towards the walls. On the Southern flank, a manticore swooped ahead of the Chaos contingent. Ranks of armoured warriors raised shields in disciplined ranks whilst one regiment pushed a siege tower with evil intent. The central greenskin assault made the intimidating flanking forces look small by comparison. A second siege tower was manned by Skeletor the Sorceror

Rumbling towards the main gatehouse, dwarfing siege towers and giants alike, a vast wolf-headed ram belched flame from its hungry mouth. It was drawn by four mighty horned beasts and pushed by a trio of trolls, one beating drums to lend an ominous tattoo to the advance.

Pushing caution to the wind, the Empire commanders ordered guns and mortars to make good use of their rationed black powder. Lead projectiles cut swathes through undead warriors whilst a cannon ball smashed in to the siege bombard’s position, sadly not causing sufficient damage to end its terrible threat. The Chaos siege tower took minor damage but all eyes were drawn to the central tower which was utterly destroyed by a direct cannon ball hit. The Sorcerer Skeletor Was temporarily banished from this mortal realm as he fell to the ground amidst wood and smoke. Cheers reverberated across the Empire lines!

The assault began as the Manticore swept down upon the Southern wall, ripping men to shreds in a flurry of furious attacks. In the North, Black knights and skeleton chariots raced towards the defended hillside whilst the great foot regiments made for the town walls, pushing the covered ram. Dire wolves moved to outflank the Empire line, opaque eyes trained on the herd of sheep behind the human troops. The ghouls skirmished ahead, looking for an opening. They were soon whooping with delight as the Siege Bombard spoke for the first time. The North-Eastern wall was struck with unbearable force by the bombard’s weighty ball – blasting a gaping hole and sending men and ogres flying. The surviving ogres fled, unwilling to put a purse of coin above their lives. The Teutogen guard were badly mauled but stood firm, helped by the proximity of their battle standard. 

The crackle of small arms fire from regiments on the hillside was soon lost in the thunder of artillery. A large regiment of black knights was practically wiped out by volley gun fire whilst chariots were splintered to bone fragments by various deadly projectiles. The undead assault on the hillside was blunted but at the walls, ghouls charged through the breach! The Pyromancer called a great fiery comet down from the heavens whilst the Bishop of Bath and Wells bravely cast a spell to take himself behind the enemy lines. At the Southern edge of the town, the Manticore drove the defenders back and made to infiltrate the town. Brave halfling scouts were crushed beneath the great feet of the beasts pulling the ram, their heroic efforts to slow its progress an utter failure. Even Lord Flashheart’s presence was not enough to deter the advance. The fiery comet crashed down sooner than its creator had hoped, failing to cause the ripples of hoped for panic but killing two trolls to leave the great ram undermanned.

The dire wolves were wiped out by wailing flagellants as undead war machines unleashed deadly projectiles in to the town. Screaming skulls found their marks amongst the men inside whilst one wild shot smashed in to the noble knights. Chaos marauders approached the Southernmost wall, ladders ready. The Teutogen guard formed ranks to meet the ghouls whilst the Empire commanders prepared to join the fray. The ogres found their courage and rallied, ready to join the fight. The Bishop of Bath and Wells unleashed lightning bolts at the siege bombard, destroying it and ending this threat. He looked over at the ghoul-clogged breach, wondering whether it was too little, too late…

The last supplies of black powder allowed a final enfilade from handguns and artillery. The chaos siege tower was finally destroyed and the great wolf-ram damaged. A cannon shot of unusually perfect trajectory brought down a wyvern whose wizardly white-robed rider fell to his death. Undead forces attacking the hillside were further peppered by hot lead. Chaos marauders with ladders at the Southern wall were held by brave Kislevite Kossars but the Manticore was now loose in the town! The ghouls put up a desperate fight in the breach but with Teutogen guard to the front and Heroes supported by ogres in the flank, they were defeated and fled. Meanwhile great blocks of orcs were raising ladders to the central wall sections. Goblin spider riders scuttled up the walls causing confusion and death amongst the shocked defenders. The bombard-bashing Bishop of Bath and Wells reappeared on the walls and proceeded to cast his deadly lightning bolts directly at the great ram – disabling it! (and seeing his own instant promotion to the title of ‘Ram-bashing Bishop of Bath and Wells’!). With ladders against both central and Southern wall sections the situation was looking difficult but at least further breaches were now unlikely. Relieving troops in the distance seemed to be having a degree of success though so perhaps all was not lost?

As dusk began to fall a dwarf airship appeared in the sky above Voltenberg – heading East towards the relieving armies. Just as it was about to clear the orcish horde, harsh words of magic resounded over the breeze as Gl’in da the shaman called for her God’s help. A great green hand appeared from the sky, scooping up Uruks by the handful and tipping them in to the ship. Many Uruk fell to their deaths but a worrying number seemed to make it on board. Dwarf bodies were soon seen to fall from the ship and its course changed, away from the allied army…

The Undead had been repulsed from the hillside and Empire troops held the Southern breach. However, numberless undead advanced on that breach and the central walls looked close to being overwhelmed by greenskin numbers. In the South, a Manticore was loose and Chaos warriors were about to assault the walls in place of their marauder servants. The valiant Kislevites were already bloodied and would pose no real obstacle to true warriors of Chaos. The relieving forces might just arrive in time to turn the tide …. but then the Dwarfhold on the western edge of the town began to collapse as an unearthly dirge resounded through the stone itself. Tons of rock fell down the mountainside, burying those men closest to it. A disheveled but still ravishingly handsome ‘Woof!’ Lord Flash-Hart appeared just before the entrance disappeared into a new foothill of rubble.

Annals of high elf lord John:

At the other end of the table (sorry for the long post!)

By mid-morning the Empire General was manoeuvring his relief force into position. He could see the besieged walls in the distance, but the sheer number of orcs, undead and other evil creatures between him and his daughters was a concern.

His request for help from the Elves had been answered by an elven prince and a detachment of High Elf Militia. The blue, white and glinting silver force formed up on his left, facing off to a force of brightly coloured chaos warriors.

Immediately ahead lay an enormous phalanx of orcs wielding pikes. He needed his steam tanks to lead the breakthrough, but they were at the rear of the column, stuck behind the cavalry.

Before he could issue any orders the Knight Panther took matters into their own hands and charged the orcs, a Pegasus  rider joined them in the reckless assault. They were quickly repulsed by the orcs and withdrew, the orcs cutting down the Pegasus. (GM: ‘that’s what happens when you charge pikes head on!’)

On the right the mercenary cannons and his light cavalry pushed round the phalanx. They were met by a line of orc crossbow men, skeleton cavalry and then ambushed by two giant scorpions. The advance faltered.The elves setup an archer screen to slow the chaos warriors, while the prince spurred his griffon into charging a wyvern that had been sent to delay them. Prince and Griffon combined to defeat the beast before it could react. A magical duel between the Tzeench sorcerer and the Elf mage ended in a stalemate. The Elf resorted to summoning a tempest which slowed both sides over a wide area.

While the steam tanks moved into position to finally break the mass or orc pikemen, a small force of Winged Hussars and Pistoliers managed to break through the center left and advanced rapidly toward the rear of the enemy main force supported by the newly arriving empire reinforcements on the left flank.

Just as it seemed that he had broken through, the sound of a dwarven airship rising over the town caused the advance to stop. The initial celebrations were brief, as a giant green hand lifted the largest and meanest looking orcs up to the airship. 

He watched as the orcs took control of the airship, capturing his daughter and forcing the dwarven engineer to set a course to the North. He was too late, forget the siege… he now had a daughter to rescue…

Highlights for me as GM, ‘Woof!” at least once a turn it never failed to get a smile even though the under 30’s did not know who the hell we are on about. Sigh, they did not even know who Blackadder is. They just said woof in fear of my totalitarian consequences which was swift and brutal on one occasion. No one dared miss out after that! I sent three scallywags back to their residences with homework to watch series two and three of Blackadder and report back.

The tussle right at the beginning to destroy the siege bombard before it destroyed the wall, right down to the last wound! it managed to drop a section of wall then was annihilated straight afterwards.

Saruman falling to his death off the back of a wyvern. Classic, I wonder if Grima had been holding on to the wyverns bollocks just so he could stab Saruman in the back mid flight?

Evil Jeff getting stuck on the roof of a building and being attacked by inter dimensional hounds and the local chickens. He died a death on that roof through chicken related homicide.

Good Jeff got the Lord Flashheart, Woof! to the queen after some difficulty. Then the lord flash fell in love with the queens sister!!!!!! The bloody dice! I had said he succeeds on anything but a 6.  A six was rolled. The coach was there and so flash bundled the princess into it making obscene gestures and shouted ‘If this coach is a rocking then PISS OFF!! (say it in your best inner Rick Mayall). 

The Queen left in utter disgust and rappelled aboard the blimp in an attempt to get to her uncle Von Tilly on the other end of the board and secure a minor victory for the Defenders, her hand maiden fell to her death attempting the climb……some say she was pushed……….

The Blimp made the journey half way when an orc shaman magically sent the commander of the Uruk Hai and his 40 orcs onto the blimp! the blimp could only hold 21 of them so it was ruled that 19 fall splattering to their deaths. A hair raising moment for the Orc commander Sara as she found out who made it on board. The uruk general made it as did 21 of his big uns’. They captured the queen, killed the dwarf deck crew and rolled to see if they made the 1 in 3 chance of ‘convincing via boot language’ the driver to fly this floaty thing for them. they only went and bloody did it!! Now the queen had been captured and the blimp was in Uruk Hai hands heading to their new master’s lair. Sorry Saruman, you died mate, now the Uruks belong to your master. The dark lord Sauron and his liuetenants. The Undead now have supremacy in the evil hierarchy. The undead sacked the town and nearly reached the hold. 

But something unbelievable happened, the Skaven blew up the entire dwarf mountain by accident in a towering inferno of magic! over to Ed to explain.

In the underhalls

Whilst battle raged outside the stronghold walls a second battle took place in the halls to the stronghold itself. The hateful ratmen rose up through the tunnels to battle the dwarves in their very halls. A band of gutter runners sprang out to the ground in front of the bridge, connecting the entrance to the hold to the mines, and raced up it to engage the great heroes Gotrek and Felix. Simaltaniously the assasain sent by Thanquol sprang out of hiding and tried to race for the stargate, discovered in the campaign, in an attempt to get the magical item to the great Grey Seer so that he could use it in his coming plans. Unfortunately for the assasain several dwarves stood in his way, including Gotrek, and he was shot down by a hail of arrows. Out of the robes of his dead body rolled the magical orb and the Skaven plan was blown.

Thanquol, fearful of failure, came through the portal just as his agent was shot dead and instantly blamed Clan Eshin for this and cursed Gotrek and his Manthing companion for once again thwarting his carefully laid plans. There was now only one option, destroy the orb, which would in turn release all of its stored up magical power in an explosion that would destroy the entire stronghold. Swiftly he ordered his army to hold back the dwarven forces until he could manoeuvre a unit of clan rats into position to ascend the bridge and protect him from the threat of Gotrek. Thankfully whilst this was happening the gutter runners held the great heroes at bay and even managed to remove Felix from the fight and bring the slayer down to a single wound remaining.

The whole plan remained on a knife edge as the dwarven rune smith reached the orb and awaited a lift from a Gyrocopter that had detached from the newly repaired airship. The final clan rats died and Gotrek finally began to descend from the bridge. It would be a close final turn as the clan rats raced up the bridge, leaving Boneripper to hold off an encircling dwarf unit lead by their King. Thanquol called up his power of Madness and cast it onto the Runesmith. The defenders attempted to dispel this great magical working 3 times and 3 times the dispel failed. It all came down to a roll off between the Skaven and Dwarven generals. The ratkin rolled a 5, the dwarves a 3 and the Runesmith, racked with ratty madness flung himself from the bridge into the bowls of the hold, destroying the orb and causing an explosion that destroyed the entire hold.

Thanquol still held one last ace, the Escape card from the winds of magic deck enabled him to vanish into a pocket dimension whilst the halls collapsed upon the dwarves and his Skaven and goblin army. Only Gotrek, carrying the unconscious body of Felix managed to escape through the Stargate as the Skaven won a great victory over their bitter enemies, even if they didn’t achieve their original goal.

Back to the GM:Following the dreadful (CINEMATIC AND FUN!) conclusion to the game I went home and rolled off for the outcomes in the hold. Flashheart is somewhere in the realm of chaos. The dying princess left in the hold has been resurrected as a vampire that has now had her soul driven out and replaced by the witch kings daughter. 

The Queen is in a secure facility of evil, probably having an unhappy time. The blimp is being looked over by chaos dwarfs.

Jeff, Good Jeff, has cocked up so monumentally he channelled the exploding magic energy to rip a hole into the space time dimensional continuum and try again at BOYL in a very closely adjacent universe and hope he succeeds and his demon familiar doesn’t notice that its dimension 14f instead 14e. This has absolutely nothing to do with us wanting to run this campaign and scenario again in the lead up to BOYL and get a load of the BB AND COC discords involved. No indeed. STOP LOOKING AT ME!

This is in an adjacent universe however, so our story in this universe will continue next year. Sky battles in Cathay calls, as does entering the realms of the Chaos dwarfs on the edge of the northern wastes…..or even the underbelly of a well known Middenheim…..

To wrap up, this was brilliant fun and very gratifying to get such interactions and commitment from our players. Lovely to see multiple generations and Genders at the event as i really want to make it accessible and fun for as wide an audience as possible. I think Siege is summed up by one of my other rules in life. It’s not what you’ve got, it’s where you stick it that counts. In other words Its not about how the scenario plays, but how you play the scenario and with whom. 

we had a great bunch of players with a great attitude that made it great fun.

My only rules going forward are, painted only, bring fun and bring deodorant so the girls can play without that stale male wiff.

Bring ON the next game!

Jason

Oh yes, and for your delectation, the blimp rules.

RARE CHOICE

there may only ever be

one blimp! ever, if you’ve

got one then none of your

allied players may have

one either, there is only

one!!! get it?

400PTS

+50 points per harpoon

max two, one on each side

of the hull

add two gyrocopters in

docking bays

+1 rare slot per gyrocopter

+140 points per

gyrocopter

add max two special

choice weapons on deck

+1 special per choice

cannon (max two)

bolt throwers (max 4, 2

equals one special slot)

+100pts per cannon

+50pts per bolt thrower

driver dwarf, engineer and

6 deck dwarfs with

crossbows and Grenadoes

included with core cost of

blimp

Transport: the deck may

carry an additional 22

models of dwarf or man

size. or 44 halflings or

equivalent.

(or 88 snotlings if the

dwarfs are supremely

unlucky!)

Transport troops payed fro

from dwarf armies book or

relevant armies book for

troop type.

The Mighty Dwarf Blimp has 30 hull points

a hull mounted Grenadoe cannon

-cannot land or charge ground targets.

-Grenadoes, any enemy that is passed over by the ships flight path may be targeted by the 6

dwarf crew carrying these primitive hand held bombs. this is made as a shooting attack during the

movement phase. max target area of 4” from sides of blimp. nominate target, measure distance

and place marker. roll scatter and misfire dice, half distance on misfire dice. A misfire means its

gone off in the dwarfs hand who is throwing it. work out the template effects on deck crew,

passengers and blimp as an attack from above.

there is two choices: flame, small blast template s3 -3save

frag, small blast template s4 -2save

Grenadoe cannon: 24” range, 270 degree field of fire to the front, no 90 degree sight to rear

quadrant. cannot target enemies at same height or higher than the blimp. only targets below its

level.

large template flame attack= strength 4(8) -4save or frag 5(10) -4 save.

roll misfire and scatter as if for a mortar when targeting. roll misfire again to see if the shell was a

dud, it often happened in these weapons, if it is a dud then resolve the shot on the centre point

only of the shot with no only the save modifiers of the strength of the shot accounted for, anyone

else covered by the template is bloody lucky this time round! and gets away with it scott free.

harpoon gun, 24” bolt thrower with 90 degree arc of fire from side of blimp. can target higher than

blimp, level with blimp and lower than blimp.

-no one can charge the blimp, but flying units may make fly by charges. *see extended flying rules

for aerial combat.

-can be shot at, when firing at the blimp all war machines must make a direct hit or they miss.

cannons must hit on the first bounce, second bounce goes along the ground as normal and

misses the blimp. template weapons hit only on a direct hit, if they scatter off the ship they scatter

2x that indicated on the scatter dice and resolved at ground level. any machine that uses the

misfire dice uses the big number misfire dice!!

shots or fly by attacks made from below steam blimp:

hard hits on gondola 10+ soft hits on gasbag 7+

1-5 6 on a d6

shots or fly by attacks made from air on same level or above steam blimp

hard hits on gondola 10+ soft hits on gasbag 7+

1-3 4+ on a d6

same mechanisms of resolving damage as the empire steam tank. *see steam tank rules for 6th

edition warhammer fantasy from the 2004 annual.

-Rappel troops. troops can leave the blimp and land on the ground by rappel. they cannot rappel

into combat or out of combat. when blimp at normal height, it is 2-6 on a d6 per model to deploy

from the blimp or rappel a model from the ground up to the blimp safely. on a 1 the model

receives 1 wound with no saves allowed.

if the blimp is at high elevation it is 3-6 to survive. on a 1 or 2 the model receives 2 wounds with no saves allowed.

when models rappel down they arrive in skirmish formation and will take till the following turn to

form a unit formation.steam chart for instability and possible explosions the same as a steam tank from empire lists.

*see steam tank rules for 6th edition warhammer fantasy from the 2004 annual.

if the blimp blows up or crashes to the ground it lands a random direction and distance using the

scatter dice for direction and 4xd6 for the inches of travel. a HIT on the scatter dice means it

crashes to the ground immediately wherein is now like a stone. the large number misfire dice is

used for the blast radius in inches. a roll of a misfire means it explodes in the air only and nothing

crashes to the ground.

It was done in two parts here’s the links. At the bottom is a write summary done By Mathew on the Bedroom Battlefields discord and podcast.

When Rick Priestley casually says, “What you’re doing sounds entirely normal to me,” it becomes clear how strange modern wargaming culture has become.

On a recent two-part episode of the Tabletop Miniature Hobby Podcast, Priestley, co-creator of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000, listens as Jason and Mark describe big tables, no points, Games Masters, imbalance by design, and campaigns driven by story rather than symmetry.

To him, none of this sounds radical. It sounds familiar.

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The Myth of the Lost Style

Narrative wargaming is often framed as a niche revival or a reaction against competitive play. Priestley rejects that outright. Narrative play is not a rebellion. It is the foundation modern wargames were built on.

Before points values and mirrored tables, games were shaped by scenario and judgment. Sieges were unfair. Last stands were desperate. Balance was not calculated. It was agreed.

Early British designers such as Featherstone, Grant, and Young did not rely on points systems. They assumed good faith, shared imagination, and players who wanted the game to be interesting rather than optimal.

So what changed?

When Balance Became an Ideology

Points values began as a convenience. They helped players build collections and find games quickly. Over time, that convenience hardened into expectation.

Modern balance culture assumes that a properly designed game should resolve to a near-perfect 50/50 outcome between equally skilled players. The result is list optimisation, meta-chasing, and games whose outcome is often decided before the first dice roll.

Priestley does not condemn this approach. He simply questions what it produces. Efficiency, perhaps. Predictability, certainly. But not always joy.

The Games Master We Lost

One of the clearest casualties of this shift is the Games Master.

In the episode, Jason describes running vast multiplayer games overseen by a GM who introduces events, resolves disputes, and keeps the story moving. Priestley immediately recognises the model. This was early Warhammer. Early roleplaying games. Early wargaming.

The GM was never a workaround. They were the engine.

Attempts to replace that role with campaign books and flowcharts were understandable, but limited. You cannot automate trust or improvisation. A referee works because everyone agrees they are there to make the game better.

As Priestley puts it, the only rule is that the Games Master is always right. Not because they wield authority, but because the group has given them responsibility.

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Rules as Tools

Another striking thread in the conversation is how casually the group ignores rules.

Forgotten mechanics are handwaved. Unclear outcomes are resolved with a roll and a decision. Priestley admits that even with systems he helped write, momentum matters more than correctness.

This is not carelessness. It is confidence.

Narrative players are not anti-rules. They simply refuse to let rules dominate the experience. Systems are scaffolding. If something blocks the flow of the game, it is removed.

In a hobby obsessed with precision and FAQs, this mindset feels quietly subversive.

Not a Rejection, a Reminder

Priestley is not calling for the end of competitive play. He is arguing for memory.

Narrative gaming never died. It was crowded out of the conversation. What groups like Jason’s are doing is not inventing something new. They are remembering how the hobby once worked and choosing to make space for it again.

The most radical idea in modern wargaming is not breaking the rules.

It is remembering they were never the point.

Join the Bedroom Battlefields Discord

Too much happened to recall it all.

Here is 3 highlights,

Jeff, Jeff and more bloody Jeff! The interdimensional, time hopping, galaxy spanning, quantum leaping, nomadic moron of a wizard arrived through the stargate. We didn’t know his purpose in today’s game so we asked the little 4 year old girl who rolled the D20 for his presence what he was here to do.

She said, marry the queen.

That’s right, our dear Jeff had to twiddle his moustache and cover his body odour in such a fashion that the queen in her carriage would marry him and allow him to jump to his next task.

He attempted this, he split into two 3 times meaning there was now 2 good Jeff’s and 2 evil Jeff’s all wanting to get with the queen.

🫣🫶

They attempted to get to her and in so doing stripped her of all her clothes and carriage in an inadvertent spate of miss casts.

The naked queen ran off the board and was one of the very few survivors of the empire. Next game is now a siege on the dwarf hold to try and marry off the queen before the empire relief force arrives.

One undead general had a secret mission. His chosen necromantic character was the father of the captured Witch in the wagon train. If he could free the witch and get her off the board,using his witch king , he would steal victory not only from the empire but all his fellow evil players too. Only I knew this as the GM.

On turn 3 he was within 2 inches of the witch with his character and no one suspected a thing. A rock lovber shot scattered and the Center directly landed on the young witches head……..there wasn’t enough left to fill a Canopic jar from the Khemri Pyramids gift shop. And it all happens in front of the father’s poor eyes. How the hell does that kind of nonsense happen!!?!?!?

Lastly, the Cromwell steam tank was held aloft by the hand of Gork for two turns until that spell was destroyed. Then the orks chose brain bursta on the steam tanks engineers, rendering them immobile and without driver but intact as a tank, until that spell was destroyed too. The Dwarf airship valiantly offers to let the remaining engineer on foot, right at the back of the column, rappel up to the airship and get dropped off at the head of the column and get the steam tank rolling again. The brave engineer failed his rappel test twice, two ones in a row, and killed himself trying to climb up the rope.

😂😂🤣