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Tell Us Your Dungeons & Dragons War Stories!
January 25, 2014 by brennon
With the anniversary of Dungeons & Dragons this weekend we thought it would be a great time for you all to come, sit round the Beasts of War tavern in front of a roaring fire and share your war stories from the many adventures you've been on. But, as the Bard in these proceedings I feel I should start off with some of my own. So, grab a pint of ale my friends and listen to tales of misfortune and glory...
The Good
Let's start off with some tales of the good. My group started off playing Dungeons & Dragons in the era of 3.5 so we didn't have the masses of pre-game knowledge that had come in previous editions. However, we enjoyed it all the same and were of course able to dive right into an edition of Dungeons & Dragons that had been 'fixed' as far as most people saw it.
Considering we had only got our hands on the core books, a Monster Manual, Players Handbook and Dungeon Masters Guide we had plenty of fun and our at the time resident all-things Dungeon Master took us through an exciting tale. It all started with a selection of preludes.
Our characters had been worked out and we sat down with our Dungeon Master to go through a short story to introduce us to the mechanics and such. I was playing a Paladin by the name of Anduin (original I know). A friend played Jago, a half-dryad Druid, another a Half-Orc Barbarian named Gor'Mag and the final member of our party was Cassius the Wizard.
Each of us had had loads of fun with our preludes and soon a story was beginning to unravel. I was being framed for the murder of a high ranking official and had been drugged in the doing. The others all had their own separate story lines to explore too but considering my state of affairs we spent many hours trying to discover the true culprits and met many fantastic foes along the way.
A few moments in this role-play really stood out to me. One of them occurred when we were bloody hungry. We players went out of the house across the road for snacks and our Dungeon Master said he would set up the encounter. By the time we got back we were facing a massive pirate ship that had been built out of tiles and books! The fight we had on that was awesome with Cassius sending a fireball into the mast and bringing it down in a firestorm. Gor'Mag was shot through the stomach with a ballista and when he didn't die he let the firer reel him back in so he could cut his head off!
Being some of our first real experiences with Dungeons & Dragons this was fun, fast, and full of exciting cinematic moments. A few other great moments came when my Paladin, on top of a tower, realised he could make the Undead cower and flee in fear. I then proceeded to practically critical on every roll and send the ghouls and their vampire leader running, some off the edge of the tower itself.
Another moment of magical brilliance (well two in fact) came when we were attacked in a tavern by another band of adventurers, the reason they were after us escapes me. My friend, playing Jago the Half-Dryad decided that he had had enough of the urban life and proceeded to send masses of roots sprawling out of the ground, essentially breaking the tavern and crushing it to pieces. It wasn't helped by Cassius the Wizard then setting everything on fire with a flaming sphere.
It was even genuinely good laughs when our resident Barbarian, Gor'Mag got magically dominated by one of our foul enemies and then turned on us. We didn't want to kill him so Cassius put him inside a bubble of magic and made sure he was trapped until the spell wore off and we could kill the foul enchantress who had put such a spell on him.
3.5 really was 'our' edition and I know everyone has their own that they love. 4th Edition was of course a logical next step for us and we had plenty of fun with that too. Nothing was ever really on the scale of 3.5 but when you think you're screwed and the Dragonborn Fighter manages to wake up on a sacrificial altar and then nearly kill all of the cultists, you know you had a good session.
We've even had some hilarious moments in Dungeons & Dragons Next (5th Edition). How do you get a goblin to come out of a tree when you can't see him and he is avoiding all of your arrows? Simple, get the Druid to summon a bear in the tree. Yeah...our Druid really did that. It worked actually.
Of course I can't leave 'The Good' without mentioning the time we spent in the Tomb of Horrors. Spheres of Annihilation are not your friend, even when you jump through them twice in a row. Oh, also when you fall down a 100 foot drop and survive but with all your stats smashed to pieces, don't try climbing out in just your underwear. My poor gnome paladin...
The Bad (Or Just Unlucky...)
Of course not every role-play session is filled with moments of glory and victory. Sometimes people die and/or get into situations which probably won't work out too well. Here are just a few...
1) When leaving a collapsing cavern, don't carry the critically injured Wizard on your back.
Yep. You remember Gor'Mag and Cassius from earlier? Well our Wizard was pretty much dead and Gor'Mag carried him on his back to get out of the collapsing tunnel system we were in. What he didn't account for was when the ceiling fell in and crushed Cassius into a paste. On the bright side he absorbed most of the damage on the Barbarian.
2) "I Am Friend" doesn't convince Goblins to help you.
A friend of mine was playing a peace loving Cleric who genuinely thought he could reason with the goblins inside a cavern. He opened the door and held his hands up in peace then the Dungeon Master said "If you can give me some spiel then I'll give you a bonus to charisma on the roll." The Cleric then said the line above and we all fell about laughing. Incidentally the Goblins didn't think this diplomacy was quite up to scratch either and stabbed him with spears until we had to wade in and solve the problem.
3) Don't try and siege a tower full of Kobolds
We had been tasked, in 4th Edition D&D, to deal with some Kobolds in a tower. Never before has one group been so incredibly derpy. We walked up to the front door and were pelted with all kinds of pots of glue, fire, poison and everything in between. You would have thought we would have retreated and thought up a new plan. No, not us. We thought it best to continue trying to smash down the door and the Fighter got fed up and waded through the moat before trying to climb the walls. Yeah...we didn't talk about that one when we got back to town.
4) Gnome Barbarians don't work.
You might think that a little fey Barbarian would be a good idea. Nah, it really isn't. I rolled up this character so he would be something a bit fun. We were faced with a palisade fence and a selection of kobolds on the other side. The rest of my party decided to try and smash down the fence. I took the bright idea of jumping over it and facing the kobolds in single combat! What I hadn't anticipated was that the Dungeon Master had said all of them had prepared actions. Each of them threw their spear at my poor Gnome and he was skewered like a kebab. Needless to say I don't think we've ever seen someone get killed in a level one encounter in the first round ever again.
So, let's celebrate Dungeons & Dragons and please share some of your experiences with the world below. They don't have to be your own either; what other cool stories have you heard on the grapevine?
With a new edition coming this year, I can't wait to suit up and get fighting once more.
What about you?
"We players went out of the house across the road for snacks and our Dungeon Master said he would set up the encounter. By the time we got back we were facing a massive pirate ship that had been built out of tiles and books!"
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"Each of them threw their spear at my poor Gnome and he was skewered like a kebab. Needless to say I don’t think we’ve ever seen someone get killed in a level one encounter in the first round ever again."
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D&D 5th edition, we had a monk who specialized in throwing weapons (and characters). A druid in the party cast a spell that allowed a thrown object to split into 10 smaller versions of itself. Naturally the monk threw the halfling rogue.
D&D 5th edition (D&D Next) is not even released yet. J/S.
However, there were a lot of us who were play testers for D&D Next
D&D was such a revelation to me as a little boy. I moved to a new village, complete with new school and new friends, and one of them saw I liked those ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books. So he invited me to come to his D&D group. I remember asking him how it worked – the concept of ‘you can do whatever you want’ was literally incomprehensible to my little mind. OF course I loved playing the game once I understood it. My favourite memory is of our group huddled together outside the lair of some Black Dragon. I played an assassin, and we were trying to figure out how to get past the dragon when I suggested perhaps I could assassinate it…. It took a while to crunch the numbers as we figured out how much gear the rest of the group could lend me for the fight – bracers from the warrior, the cleric’s belt and so on. I must have been playing my assassin well because there were threats of literal physical violence if I didn’t give the stuff back as soon as I had done the deed! Eventually I was ready to go. I forget the specifics – this was nearly thirty years ago – but I seem to recall doing masses of damage with my backstab. 131 is the number that I seem to recall. Whatever it was, I did nail the dragon in one shot. And I gave everyone their gear back too 🙂
That is a most excellent story! 131 points damage with a dagger!! What a legend! 🙂
A moment both myself and @lloyd often chuckle about is where our little adventuring party, struggled through a castle with every single event a skin of the teeth moment. Things were so dire and we were facing the end facing a demon, when we managed to summon a sprite. We were overjoyed and thought this is it the sprite will do something.
Demon just lopped off it head. 🙁
I started D&D in my teens. We had a great group of guys and played every Saturday, with each guy in the group taking turns to host a game (and our moms providing the refreshments and hotdogs). Whenever someone did something stupid, we pelted him with our erasers. 🙂
I played in the era before 3 and 3.5, I had the red, blue, green, brown and gold (immortal) box sets. I remember being visited by a church minister, who was told we were playing satanic devil worship games!! Ha ha ha
I lost touch with it when I went to Uni, and then 15 years later discovered Warhammer and now I am reliving my childhood, but with more pocket money!!
Pathfinder is close enough right? Cos I’ll be playing later tonight, and last week we combat-cock-blocked the DM with diplomacy checks and ended the session about an hour early because of it…
Then there was the time playing Dark heresy the DM GMPC’ed my character then blew his arm off with a bolter(and didn’t burn fate points) in a session he was told i wouldn’t be able to attend about 3 weeks in advance of us starting the campaign. I know that’s nothing to do with D&D, but i might still be a little bit bitter about it…
well the last time I got to play as a PC I played a Blackguard. The DM at the time let me make the same level as the rest of the group and played out that they would encounter me in the dungeon. Well He didnt tell me that there was a Lawful good Pally in the Group so as soon as they encountered me ….Well they were new to the game and didnt understand the use of Poison ….so yea I sundered the Pally’s weapon (trying not to kill him for the sake of the story) and he had to go an Grapple me…Sad to say he stabbed himself with my Armor spikes which were also poisoned and thus died …I was kicked out of the group for that and it wasnt even my fault…
For some reason, the “good” guys are always self righteous enough to attack first… and never clever enough to die last ! 🙂
Most of my best D&D memories come from my last campaign, a 3.5 romp set in Eberron. I was playing a fighter named Iximin of Stonevalley, and discovered the most amazing prestige class EVER! The Thunder Guide is not only a sort of D&D Indiana Jones, but has class features called Lionized in the Press and Serial Hero. Considering I was playing a character who ran from an arranged marriage to find adventure and emulate the title character of his favorite series of adventure novels, Sir Delthian the Valorous, this prestige class was right up my alley.
My favorite thing about ol’ Iximin was the fact that he would always get tied up doing something (heroically getting some noncombatants out of danger or the like) while the party was fighting some tough monster. Iximin would, without fail, show up just in time to deliver the final blow, and then wonder why the other adventurers had such a difficult time with a monster that so obviously went down with one hit. Needless to say, Iximin had an overinflated sense of his own abilities.
Also, the character had a kobold sidekick for a short time named Kerry the Kobold. Seriously, I love kobolds.
This year is the 30th anniversary of me discovering rpgs through 1se ed AD&D. I came to it via Fighting Fantasy gamebooks. I had no idea where to buy the books from let alone had any money to buy them so I used the inter-library loan system (I practically lived in the library back then) and got my hands on the PG and DMG. Being only nine years old with no experience at all of rpgs and no existing group to join, when I managed to get some friends together I found large parts of the DMG incomprehensible. It took ages just to figure out how you hit someone in combat. We did a little bit of red box as well but we didn’t stay long with the system. By this time we’d discovered the treasure trove that was our local GW and branched out into other systems. I did briefly return for a 2nd ed campaign in the 90s. The DM wanted us to start the campaign around level 8 so gave us a set amount of experience we could apply to our chosen character class. I min-maxed an elf warrior/mage who dealt a ridiculous amount of damage in combat. My final encounter with D&D was both unintentional and tangential. A friend ran an epic two-year 4th ed campaign and based the world on some background I’d knocked out on a design forum thread. If anyone is interested in some D&D-style action in a more modern design sensibility, then I’d recommend checking out 13th Age.
Same for me 🙂
I remember picking up the FF books when I was at primary school (although my snooty teacher didn’t approve as it wasn’t as “proper” book so wasn’t allowed to read it in school time!). So I read/played a couple of them, and when the school book club order came round I ordered Deathtrap Dungeon as it has just been released and I remember being soooo chuffed when it arrived (again with disapproving looks from my teacher)…….. wish I knew what happened to that book or where it was now!!
This is fantastic stuff and makes me so sad I never had these DnD experiences in my earlier years. That said I am determined to give RPGs the love and attention they deserve from me this year – if anything that’s probably my single greatest hobby resolution for 2014.
One thing though I MUST recommend to anyone with even only a passing interest in DnD and RPGs (or just good fantasy stories) is the Critical Hit podcast produced by the Major Spoilers crew. The podcast is made up almost entirely of a humungous campaign over multiple seasons and years of play and is fantastically well done and about 240 odd episodes in that come out weekly (bear in mind each one averages at about 90 minutes sot there are hundreds of hours here!). Rodrigo (the DM) is absolutely amazing and his cast of players and their characters almost even more so. It is essential listening for me now and the story he has woven is so complex, layered, human, engaging, thrilling, hilarious – all those things and more – set in a steampunk(ish) take on traditional DnD realms. It is based on 4th edition but story is first and foremost and whole mini-series can pass between fighty encounters (althought these are too are fantastically done and really enjoyable). I cannot praise this highly enough and it really does deserve a listen.
Even better is that they regularly run Q and A sessions about all aspects of RPGs (mailbag episodes), ran a series of DM workshops and also do some other bits between seasons. It really is a great window into the hobby as well as an astounding story in it’s own right (not surprising as all involved are writers, media academics, TV producers etc in the US and all work for the Major Spoilers site too (wider comic book and pop culture site).
Seriously guys, I have got people who have not even the slightest interest in DnD hooked on this epic addicted…It’s that good!
Sorry to go on, just really keen to share this with the community here 🙂
Ben
I will try to tell you about it without the characters getting wind of it. They are all rather vain and would take over.
I remember it well, it was 3.5 edition with a rather stingy GM, with the magic, and XP (my husband, who was worse with me because he didn’t want anyone to think he favored me).
The characters were as follows; Half-Orc Paladin named Sym, Half-elf Cleric called Elora, Elven Sorceress AKA Detarian Soulsinger, Human Bard (cursed with lycanthropy) who went by the name Towey, a Drow Rogue whose name and personality matched; Ego, and a Half-elf Ranger known only by Blue. We had been taxed by a God who had trapped us within liquid pools of light to spread his name, or spend eternity within the said pools. Whilst spreading his name we were hired by this keep Lord to investigate the disappearance of his people, and much to our surprise discovered he was to blame.
Sym couldn’t let this travesty go; so, back to the keep. Ego was sneaky and let us in. But as we all know, the Paladin wasn’t sneaky, and we were discovered. We fought a awesome battle, the bard was almost struck down and turned werewolf, but then WAS struck down. It was bad. Detarian did her best to buff the Paladin’s backside. Elora healed all she could and when she was down to two spells used them; Invisibility and fly. She flew away.
The Paladin and Detarian were being overrun. The Rogue used a small fireball trap to blow a hole in the back wall which we all gratefully ran out of. Sym scooped up the downed Towey and flung her and the sorceress, whom he had decided wasn’t running fast enough, over his shoulder.
The race was on. The Sorceress still had several fireball spells left and the Paladin squeezed her every now and then with orders to fire. Whilst being chased by horsemen, somewhere in his charismatic mind he decided, “Hell no, I want that keep, it is mine and I’m taking it back.” He began running around the keep walls. Arrows followed him as well as reports of, “Here he is…There he goes and coming your way.”
As he made his way around to the front he began a charge of the gate. Gales of laughter were coming from not only the keeps forces but from the table. The GM was gasping for air, when he suddenly realized the Paladin’s full frontal sneak attack was serious.
To this day we think the surprise factor may have given us an advantage, but the GM still collapses in hysteria whenever it is brought up….
Fighting Fantasy did it for me too- I remember running Dungeoneer and Blacksand as ‘Director’ with a couple of friends, then graduating to AD&D.
My first ever Character was a Gnome Illusionist called Pyke- his first (and last!) Adventure saw him and his comrades (an Elf Ranger and a Dwarf Fighter I seem to recall) creeping through a tunnel to enter a Goblin lair. It was pitch-dark and filled with a weird-smelling black liquid… Soon enough Goblins ambushed the Party and Pyke saw his chance for glory- one fire-based magical attack later and the oil-filled tunnel went up in a huge fireball!…
Hey, I took care of the Goblins!.. And the Elf… And myself…
It’s been so long since I played D&D, I think when it’s released I will use 5th ed as an excuse to jump back into it!
We cut our teeth on 1st Edition AD&D, and then one day in our 20’s, after too many pints, a bunch of us decided to play a game. It was even more fun than when we were kids! We played a few canned adventures, but I found them lacking, and made my own. Our game has evolved over the years, but we still play 1st Edition. We just changed whatever we didn’t like, and saved a fortune on new books! We also added a hugely entertaining critical hit table we pulled out of a ‘Dragon’ magazine.
Then we added miniatures, and within the last five years, terrain has also become increasingly important. We often play grand sweeping battles using Battlesystem, and the 3000 miniatures I’ve jammed into my cabinets. Again, we fidgeted with the rules till we liked it. Battlesystem was a hit with the military people I worked and played with, and at one point half our Brigade Command staff was descending on my home every month for a game!
We still only play once a month, as we all have busy lives, but it also takes me that long to put a diorama together, and get the figures ready. The ‘big table’ looks different every month (I’ve posted a few pics on Terrainorama of our last game. They’re sideways for some reason. Help!), but we usually start at the dining room table, and work our way toward my big surprise in the garage. I’ve introduced a pot luck food theme, and each month we scour the world for ‘themed’ beers, wine, and spirits.
I recently picked up two sets of Dwarven Forge tiles for dungeoneering, which means I may finally retire my ubiquitous graph paper pad! God willing, we’ll be playing for another 40 years 🙂
Good grief. I got my photos into the sci-fi section somehow. That and sideways… technology challenged today. Sorry Brennon!
Ah D&D, I still remember joining a game in like 3rd grade because my after school teacher was a huge nerd, and loved the game. I was given a pre-rendered fighter by the name of “Dice” (not sure how original my teacher was thinking back on it) Armed with his mighty long sword and crossbow, and companion with a dancing rouge, a were-horse (I’m not even sure how that got in there) and a half-orc who had a tenancy to set of traps and not notice due to an intelligence score of like 10.
Seriously! The guy walked into a dark castle room and a gietein blade dropped down on his head, only caused a few HP of damage, so the party had to quietly chuckle the rest of the game as we walked behind our green friend with a loop of drool coming down his mouth and a giant razor blade stuck in his skull.
Though the highlight of my D&D games will always be the time a few years back in 3.5 when a friend of mine, also known for walking or charging into trap filled rooms, one day opened a seemingly innocent iron bound door to which we heard the sound of the GM’s voice say “Ummm okay, make a d20 DC save against death.” Our companion calmly put his character sheet down, took a drink of beer and then stated very carefully: “I close the door.” Laughter ensued for the rest of the game.
A blast from the past is old AD&D I can tell you, I can remember playing it down at
Headingley community centre (Leeds) with my old school friend, funnily enough after sorting through some old junk I came across Tamarnato (the character/model I played), I think i’ll post it up and ask peoples opinion on what make they think it is soon, don’t think it GW’s, this was around the time of Fighting Fantasy and Lone Wolf game books, Games workshop was a very different place 25 years ago a bit like Traveling Man now but with less books and more blister packs.
Anyhow those times are well gone sorry for going on a bit, im gunna post that model though.
afraid i’ve not managed to play a game of d&d even though ive had the 3.5 books for a year! however i do enjoy a good chuckle reading up peoples old adventures a nice site i’ve found for it is http://www.tabletitans.com/ which also has a webcomic so if anyone wants a nice laugh for a couple of days and updates weekdays on tales from the table… enjoy.
I remember playing 2nd Ed Advance D&D with my friends where I frequently DM’ed. One night when our group got together I had an epic adventure planned out for the party. The guys had spent the weekend before coming up with their characters using the new guide on fantasy creatures characters. One guy had made a pixie thief, which turned out to be the bane of this adventuring group. Mostly it had to do with the person who was playing the pixie, who kept stealing things from his fellow adventures by passing me notes. It was discovered what the pixie was doing when the group ran into a simple fight (the first encounter of the adventure) that the group should of been able to handle, but the group wizard didn’t have his spell components (because the pixie stole them) and got killed. The arguing started and I told the guys they had to stay in character. So the player who was playing a orc fighter proceeded to rip off the pixies wings and bite off its head. This of course caused the Lawful Good paladin (the only human in the group, was a last minute character) of the group to attack and kill the orc. At that point I thought it was over, but the last person in the group who was playing a centaur ranger, who came up with a back story that made the orc his friend, figure he should avenge his friend. Lets just say the paladin didn’t stand a chance after his fight with the orc. So, within the first hour of the game the party had killed each other and everyone was so pissed that they didn’t want to do the adventure any more. The group never wanted to play fantasy creatures after that and wanted to stick to the standard type of characters. Fortunately the book wasn’t a total waste of a buy, because I made some great NPC’s and villains with it in the future. But, I was never able to do my fantasy creature adventure.
My favorite moment for one of my characters was in a modified D&D 3.5 campaign when our party was in an icy hell (plane), sailing a galleon on an ocean of freezing death. One touch of the “water” would turn anything into a solid block of ice. Some kind of undead humanoids were climbing up the side of the ship and attacking the crew. The boat had also taken a gash in the hull and was taking on water. My gnome rogue tried participating in melee, but my little 1d4+1 damage wasn’t making it through the undead’s DR (Damage Resistance), so I went below deck to see what I could do about the flooding below decks. I started throwing the bodies of slain crew at the wound in the ship and using the freezing effect to seal the gash.
My favorite party moment was when the big bad guy (a drow warrior), appeared before us out of no where in the swamp, spouting off some threatening monologue, but the GM made a fatal mistake: his description of the drow included the vorpal blade at his side. The entirety of our group started ignoring what he was saying and started plotting and scheming to rush him and take his sword. That actually consisted of about five seconds of eye contact and raised eyebrows…then a concerted “Vorpal you say? We rush him and take his sword!” the GM had to shadow/fey step the drow out of our reach, but I think he learned his lesson…don’t dangle the carrot too close to the horse.
Last campaign I played was a long long time ago , my friend learned an important lesson that day never teleport in to a ongoing battle.
there was an ambush in the night, I saw lights and had to react i put a magic missile right between his new characters eyes. New character RIP with out even playing 1 round … In battle its kill first ask questions later …
I still have fonder memories playing a dwarf enslaving any one and every one in the country in the name of the lady of pain 🙂 fun times playing a evil dwarf…. but have not played it in a long time.
Many moons ago, when my friends and I were but young lads, we took our first steps into playing DnD. Our Dungeon master was a “veteran” (Having gamed with his cousins before) and helped us create our characters. I was a your stereotypical human warrior, my one friend was an elf cleric and my other friend was a dwarf warrior. We were kitted out with basic equipment and, being the generous fellow he was, our DM set us up with a hefty amount of gold to further help our first adventure.
The story started out as any other story, small town, orcs, raiding, etc. We were about to leave town in search of said orcs when the dwarf chimed in, “I need to find a baker.”
“What?”, we asked in unison.
“A baker. I need to get something made.”
So we tripped back into town, asked around and finally found the dwarf a baker. Upon entering the bakery, we were greeted by a portly fellow, who ate as many sweets as he sold.
“Greetings! what can I do for you?”, he asked.
“I want a fruitcake.”, replied the dwarf in a sharp grunt.
“Well, I have a selection over here!”, said the baker. “What size? Flavor? I have many!”
“No… None of these will work. Too small. I need a bigger one.”
“Well how big do you need?”
“One the size of of 200gold pieces.”
We all stopped and stared at our friend. The GM was busy pondering how big a 200gp fruit cake would be.
“Also, extra rum please.”
We waited in town for 2 days as a monstrosity was created. a fruitcake the size of a round kitchen table was created. A perfect cylinder measuring 5 feet across and 3 feet deep. It was wrapped in several bed sheets and the only logical way of moving it was to roll it. It was big, it was expensive, and it was bloody heavy.That being done we finally could start our adventure.
We left town, a Human, and elf, a fruitcake, and a dwarf.
For 2 weeks we quested, being able to stick to roads and flat land only because of our rotund fourth party member. One night we were ambushed by goblin raiders. The fruitcake saved us some grief as it made an excellent piece of mobile cover. It was so dense that arrows would thud harmlessly into it. It also helped when rations ran low. It is fruitcake after all, it never goes bad… Especially this one, with a rum content that would knock you out after a few bites.
Halfway through our third week, we stumbled upon the orc camp. They were by a river and we were high up on a ridge overlooking them. We quickly dispatched the sentries on the top of the ridge and started to make our plan of attack.
“We could try and sneak down? I mean, it is fairly dark right now.”, I stated.
“No, no…”, said the elf, “Too many torches set up. We’d be visible.”
“What about the river? We could swim into camp…”
“Hmmm… Possibly…”
All the while the dwarf sat there. Staring at the camp. “Can I see the orc leader? I can see well in the dark.”
One roll later and he had spotted his quarry.
“I am going to use the fruitcake.” Said the dwarf.
“What now?” We replied in unison.
“I am going. To use. The fruitcake.” He repeated.
“How?” We wondered.
“Watch.”
The dwarf stood, heaved it to the edge of the ridge, carefully took aim (which is no easy task with a fruitcake), and let loose the candied cherries of war.
Through a series of lucky die rolls, the fruitcake rumbled down the hill… Gathering speed and branches as it homed in on its target. It cut through the orc camp, carving a neat path 3 feet wide.
When it did come to rest, it had made it most of the way through the camp. It was a mass of branches, bed sheets, and most importantly, orc leader… In one fell swoop, our 4th party member had disbanded the orc menace.
Our DM sat there. Flabergasted. We were in hysterics. Laughing away. Our dwarf friend just sat there, staring at his character sheet and the hastily scribbled map with a ‘matter of fact’ look upon his face.
Most people tell me they don’t like fruitcake. I tell them,
“It’s good for killing orcs.”
Great story, thanks for sharing 🙂
Hello Folks, Don’t know if this is a legit moment in D&D. But our little group was gaming somewhere in the dragon lance world way back when, When out of no where we just broke out and recited the whole Princes Bride line for line, The whole Dam movie. I think back to that time when we where all young and new to the world, twenty somethings, thinking we where invincible . ( inconceivable right ) We just had a blast , what fun and the alcohol helped a lot too. Thanks folks
Started with AD&D or actually the basic set of The Keep on the Borderlands complete with tokens for dice as it was so hard to get 20 sided back then. It was good old basic stuff with our group being a fighter, cleric and magic-user. None of these weird class/race combinations, combat was simple THAC0 without all the phases etc. It’s all these extra bits that has been a block to me getting back into D&D. My sons play it but to me just doesn’t have the quick, simple and fun nature to it that it used to.
To make up for it though last year I bought the reprints of 1st edition and also the boxed “white’ books which is the first D&D as it morphed from Chainmail. Looking at getting the locals into ‘classic’ D&D.
We had D6s and could use them for D4s (ignoring 5 and 6) and D12s (roll a second dice and if it came up 4-6 we’d add six to the first dice). For D8’s, D10s, and D20s we flipped the pages of the book and used that as a random number generator.
Our group is pretty old school as well.
We were using Basic D&D (becmi) for a Drow campaign (all the pcs were drow rebels who wanted to overthrow their mistresses). Using an airship powered by elementals, they succeded in raising a beastmen army and returning to overthrow them. The campaign ran for over 2 years. And was the first Chaos campaign i had run. (actually got a few pointers from the guy who edited the rules…Frank Mentzer……sorry for the namedrop. )
A tabletop wargame was the end game of the campaign….told you we are old school.. 😉
2nd edition ad&d. Mainly birthright. Running a realm, waging wars, carrying out diplomacy/espionage and adventuring. Oh Medore how I miss you and the fact that I managed to control the mid southern half of Anuire.
Being a veteran DM of the OLD second edition i have very fond memories of parties rushing in where angels fear to tread.
I have a warped love of traps and devised a dungeon of a straight corridor with forty foot sections ending in doors.twenty trapped doors all in a row.
none of the traps were deadly just anoying and increased in damage and or stat loss etc.The quote that instills fear into our party from then on was”Its a door an ordinary dungeon door” as the last door had no traps.(It took a whole hour of game play and roleplay to open an unlocked un trapped “ordinary door”)
used to spend hours tweeking adventures only for one player just to rush in and kill stuff
My revenge
Another trap it is a pit trap forty foot square two hundred foot deep filled with whipped cream( magically preserved and disguised of course.)
You cant see ,you cant hear.you cant breath, you cant speak ,no spell casting as components stick. no real body to it so you cant swim in it also realy slippery so climbing is a bitch.
The parties dwark fighter fell in.(rushing in more like)
the party tried everything..ropes too short
cant see to levitate etc
THe wizard fireballed it only to cover the party in very warm cream from the top few feet .To the amazment of everyone the dwarf decided to EAT his way out epic fail.
A fool proof way to kill off those have a go heros that rush headlong into every situation battle axe waving before any dialog…….piss the DM off at your peril .
Could have been really nasty and put spikes at the bottom.
Also liked to encourage creative spell casting , one guy came up with an offensive use for the web spell rather than just sticking an area he used it as a directed spell against opposing wizards and clerics.
Think outside the box guys and girls it brings on no end of laughs
I played in the days of 2nd Ed.
2 events still stand out in my mind.
The first was when the group was standing around a hole we were to go down. The group was debating how to get down it and who should go first. I was standing beside our elf mage I was trying to kill. You see I was playing a Thi-Kreen, and elf is considered a delicacy. So I did what I could to kill the elf without making it obvious to the rest of the group. I solved the situation with these simple words “I volunteer the Elf!” And with that I shoved the elf into the hole. The look on the face of the guy playing the elf was priceless. But as it turned out the hole was only 10 feet deep.
The second event took place after the group had played around with a deck of many things. I and another member of the group both ended up with my soul elsewhere. For me the elsewhere turned out to be a potato. I also ended up with a 5th level henchman with an IQ to match.
So we went to see a wizard I had done some work for to see if he could help me and my friend get our souls back were they belonged. While speaking with the wizard the henchman said he was hungry and asked if he could go make himself something to eat. The wizard said yes and the henchman went off to ease his hunger. As he was walking away I hear him singing to himself. “I’m going to cook me a potato. I’m going to cook me a potato.” Every one playing broke out in loud laughter as I realised what was happening and screamed “NO!!”
OK, I’ll play…
It was my first game, ever.
I’m a second generation geek. You see, it’s all because of my older brother. He wasn’t doing great in English class… our dad was looking for something game-like and in english, so he’d have an incentive to learn, and he found… AD&D. And that’s how we all got into RPGs as a family.
My dad ran games for us (and my mom, and my brother’s then-girlfriend) non-stop, every night, during the summer and easter holidays. I’ll always remember those sessions very fondly as childhood memories…
The details of the game are burned in my mind : a river was “polluted” by evil and the whole region was being overrun with monsters. A monastery with a watermill over the river, bravely fighting the dark influence with their divine powers but not really able to do much, had given us poor PCs the sacred quest of going up the river and find the source of the (probably demonic) influence… And up we went, through a more and more blighted land, fighting bigger and more powerful (and more Evil !) monsters as we were closer to the “source”…
We went through local critters mutated into hydras and giant versions of themselves, orcs galvanized to more daring raids by the nefarious atmosphere, and horrible sahuagins; there was also a whole village of werewolves led by a druid (very “wicker man”…) who “dealt” with teh evil curse the best he could, helping the villagers embrace their savage nature and eating people… After the swamplands with the obligatory black dragon, up the mountains was a lone castle in which the vampire had been awakened by the Evil Influence, almost palpable here. The Big Baddie was a corrupted dragon turtle living in a mountain lake with a complex gallery system… He lived near the source of the river, and had somehow acquired the Hand of Vecna (yes, the very same), grafted on one of his fingers !
Simple, yet effective… I couldn’t have been older than 7 or 8 at the time. I was playing an elven wizard (named Zargon… I was young and foolish) and having the time of my life ! My brother was our paladin leader (The Knight of the Leafy Stump), his girlfriend was a half-elf (Salomé the swordmaid), my mother was one of the most brutal clerics I’ve ever seen (Alois, Friar of St Cucufa)… guest appearances by our cousin, who played a half-orc fighter (famously named “Krug, Lord of Sullied Beauty”…).
A year later, we were playing Call of Cthulhu as well as AD&D. Ah… Nostalgia ! 🙂
Hmm, let me peer back into the foggy past…. I started playing AD&D when the books were newly printed and no mention of an Edition. yeah I know that dates me.:) My age old friends, Kairedan the Paladin, Morgaidien the wizard, and Braemos the cleric, all gave me loads of good times as they interchangably ventured into dark dungeons or new lands. Those same names have followed me into the more modern era of computer games.
For my best memory it is hard to say as there are many great ones. I have to say that the best groups have been those that had no idea how to play and could follow the simple idea of just role-playing as if they were actually the character in front of them. This idea has gone unheralded as 4th edition stresses too much the numbers rather than creativity. It plays more like a computer game, not like a play or movie which is what role-playing should be.
Some of those great moments range from my first games where we had this human fighter who just always seemed to get us in trouble because he didn’t get that the NPCs and the environment would have a reaction to his actions. To the great marathon weekends, while I was in the US Army, between paydays. Later, running my friends and my son and some of his friends, through adventures in the forgotten Realms there are many times when someone went off script and we were all “playing from the hip” for hours at a time. Loads of fun out there and lots of fun memories. Maybe I should pullm out those old books and see if I can convince these youngins ta try sum rollplayin insted o’ crunchin numbers.
They seriously need to bring back the cartoon…
I played Runscape once with some friends and I was a Chaos Neutral warrior, who took the mic out of anything different. One adventure I had we were walking along a country path on the way we walked past a talking Duck in a pond just looking for his belongings. I shouted at the Duck and took the mic for a few minutes, the DM got the Duck to turn round and to attack my character, my character almost died. And the DM said be kind to your feathery friends of the wild. Every bodies character started to take the mic out of my character getting beaten up by a 3 foot tall feathered friend. It was hilarious but we had fun.
In the long distant past of 2nd edition i was included in a campain written by a friend for our group which was set on a flying island, we were tasked with finding several “magic items” and people. one instance will be forever “burned in my mind. Our group included a slightly mad dwarf who had an insane need to set light to anything flammable. The party found a wooden tower that gave us a good view of the surrounding area so we all walked up to the top to have a look around. A few minutes later the DM informed us that we could smell smoke, at this point the dwarf walks up to top of stairs ……hi whats happening. He had started a fire at the bottom of the stairs before coming to see how we were. It suprised me how quick a group of friends suddenly became one for all all for me ….sod you i dont want to burn . as we all rushed to find a way down as fast as we could. From floating magic discs to improvised parachutes to i can fly/survive the drop just can anyone heal me after lol