Reply To: Somewhere over the rainbow…

[unclejimmy 9225xp 1]

The place is like the Marie Celeste (an old boat for the idiots) on Giro day, but soon the Vultures begin to circle. 100pts. Wow, I am really on form. Probable the worst morning ever. Then again, we did wake the children on xmas morning to find Jerry (the rabbit) has left us during the night.

How’s it going honkies?

@sundance – well, I am older than the parts! They are yours if you want them. There are a couple of Hammerhead Turrets somewhere.

@nogbadthebad – ah, this should raise my spirits. If it doesn’t I have three-quaters of a bottle of Port that might help.

1. I know those songs you mean. 50pts. Heather was shopping, beards ago when Jamie was 3-4, and she called and asked if my friend would pick her up from some shops about 5 miles away. As I was with John, my friend with the car, we set off to meet her with the mini-disc player at 11. Plenty of cock-rock classics. UFO, Journey (live), Van Halen, Saxon, etc, etc…compilations we had made for our various adventures over the years.

We meet Heather (who has Jamie with her) and the first thing she told us to do was to change the disc. She doesn’t like cock-rock. So I put in another disc from the box we had and we set off home. As we got out of the car park and onto the main road ‘Firewater Burn’ started, but as Heather was busy sorting out junk in her shopping-bags that she must not have noticed.

As they started singing, “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire…” Heather snaps, “Turn that off now!” At the speed of fright I turned the volume off, but Jamie just kept singing. John and I quickly glanced at each other in fear. She quietly said, “I’ll speak to both of you when we get home.” For the remaining three miles she just sat, arms crodded, and engine running!

Children are great, but can easily drop you right in it. I took Eve to Wacoshop when she was 8 and I bought two of the old metal Hive Tyrants and a few other bits and off we went. We were going to an exhibition about Bats and having a skive into the bargain.

We were in a shop that Eve loved. They sold ‘Living Dead Dolls’ and those kind of t-shirts. My darling, first born child then says, “Dad, buy me this.” It wasn’t a question. I didn’t even look. “Not a chance as you have £33 in your wallet. Mother told me.” Her reply was something like, “Yes, but I don’t want to spent my money. If you don’t i’ll tell mother what you bought in GW.” Not a hint of threat in her voice either. Never teach your children anything. Ever!

The Wurzels rule. They played a show at country park where we were doing a demonstration. Awesome. I remember them being on TV. As for Avril…totally awesome live. That was 2003-2005 – might be different now. I’d still take her for a weekend up at my cottage. Soup anyone? 100pts.

I have loads. Nothing I would hide or deny under duress, but that give me a little blush. Adam & the Ants, Madness (not because of the music), Japan (yes, I did copy the look), and a few others that slip my mind. Must be the effects of the strokes. Speaking of which…4th anniversary tomorrow. Heather used to be into Culture Club and she was a bloody goth.

I thought about ABBA, but they were masters of the perfect ‘pop’ song. Real stories in the songs and amazing music. I would list “The Day Berfore You Came” as one of the best songs ever written. It can make a glass-eye weep.

We all know why you have the Bwitched album sleeve. Sitting in the shed pulling the top of it! 1000pts. Smash Hits was like a softcore porno mag when I was 13+. I came across Bananarama in Smash Hits. Then they were singing with FB3. The Go-Go’s too.

2. The US Office rules. I might have to say a bit more then the UK version. 50pts. Poor Dwight. It is only because someone asked me this question the other day that it made me think. I am more into sarcasm, but abuse has been fun on the few times I have employed it.

If you want to hear the worst one I ever heard then you had better sit down first…it still makes me cringe. When we were in basic training each section had it’s own Corporal who was in charge. There was three section and the Cpl from B section was a pure knob-head. He clearly did not have enough hugs when he was growing-up as everyone said he was really nasty in ‘real’ life and not just giving us a hard time. He was a Cockney and never stopped going on about it. Our Cpl. was away somewhere and he took us for fieldcraft for the afternoon.

In our four-man room was a very young lad called Owen. Old enough to get into the real Army by about 3 days. Never been out of his own garden before. It took him a while to get the hang of things, but this was early on. We had done some drills and than had a break. That dick Cpl. then a flashbang and told us to get to the next rv point. We get there, 3 miles later, and Owen asks if he was supposed to bring his weapon too as he thought we were going back later.

We were lined up and by the look on the Cpl’s face I thought he was going to really fill him in. No. He walked over to him as calm as you like and without raising his voice he said, “Owen, you are a c*t de**h.” Horrible man.

I did tell a young lady in a recruitment agency that “Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to sniff my smelly sack.” I was hold said item at the time. It started because I pointed out to her she had mayo on her cheek.

In the very few instances where there might have been problems to myself (or others) then a prescription from ‘Doctor Foreheed’ is often enought to make things better.

3. I know the looks you will get too! 100pts. You would think you were confessing to being a serial killer. Small minds. As for carrying on…I don’t know anything else. I have been building models since I can remember and ‘gaming’ since I was 17. If I did it would not be good for my mental health either. The same would probably be the same for you too. I mean, what would you do with all the spare money? 50pts.

4. Never…not even a couplet? 10pts.

@oriskany – right on time! As always.

1. I don’t mind some very early Public Enemy as John Peel used to play them quite a bit. A few MM tracks get played here now-and-again. 50pts. Back then they had messages in the lyrics and it was not about “bitches and guns” and all that rubbish. I would take them “Gangstazs” up to Goven…they wouldn’t last 15 minutes. If the Neds didn’t get them then the jakkies would as they tried to escape.

2. I can dig it. Anyway, it is so easy to insult someone these days that sometimes I do it just out of spite!

3. My experience of ‘Historical Players’ were the greasy guys that used to hide at the back of the room. If you went anywhere near all their laptop screens get closed. They couldn’t make it to games on a tuesday evening as they had to go and sign the nonce-jotter.

I used to get my FW orders delivered to where I worked and I would sit and file bits during down-time of breaks. One of the women whispered to her friend that she bets I have great hands! No idea what she meant.

That said, she was a dreadful roaster that would ride you like Seabiscuit if you bought her a drink. You could tell she was having an orgasm…she would drop her chips & gravy. Boom-boom.

4. Well, I remember my birth certificate and it said, Mother: Lyinda Oliver. Father: 4th Batt.USMC. Now it makes sense. I’ll tell her you said that. 500pts.

Now, she does have the ‘power’. It runs in the female side of the family!