The Empire Responds to the invasion of the Uruk Hai

Too much happened to recall it all.

Here is 3 highlights,

Jeff, Jeff and more bloody Jeff! The interdimensional, time hopping, galaxy spanning, quantum leaping, nomadic moron of a wizard arrived through the stargate. We didn’t know his purpose in today’s game so we asked the little 4 year old girl who rolled the D20 for his presence what he was here to do.

She said, marry the queen.

That’s right, our dear Jeff had to twiddle his moustache and cover his body odour in such a fashion that the queen in her carriage would marry him and allow him to jump to his next task.

He attempted this, he split into two 3 times meaning there was now 2 good Jeff’s and 2 evil Jeff’s all wanting to get with the queen.

🫣🫶

They attempted to get to her and in so doing stripped her of all her clothes and carriage in an inadvertent spate of miss casts.

The naked queen ran off the board and was one of the very few survivors of the empire. Next game is now a siege on the dwarf hold to try and marry off the queen before the empire relief force arrives.

One undead general had a secret mission. His chosen necromantic character was the father of the captured Witch in the wagon train. If he could free the witch and get her off the board,using his witch king , he would steal victory not only from the empire but all his fellow evil players too. Only I knew this as the GM.

On turn 3 he was within 2 inches of the witch with his character and no one suspected a thing. A rock lovber shot scattered and the Center directly landed on the young witches head……..there wasn’t enough left to fill a Canopic jar from the Khemri Pyramids gift shop. And it all happens in front of the father’s poor eyes. How the hell does that kind of nonsense happen!!?!?!?

Lastly, the Cromwell steam tank was held aloft by the hand of Gork for two turns until that spell was destroyed. Then the orks chose brain bursta on the steam tanks engineers, rendering them immobile and without driver but intact as a tank, until that spell was destroyed too. The Dwarf airship valiantly offers to let the remaining engineer on foot, right at the back of the column, rappel up to the airship and get dropped off at the head of the column and get the steam tank rolling again. The brave engineer failed his rappel test twice, two ones in a row, and killed himself trying to climb up the rope.

😂😂🤣