Christmas Carnage (All Previous Episodes)

For the fifth year running, we must interrupt your regularly-scheduled OnTableTop content for an emergency flash bulletin – Santa’s workshop and village at the North Pole are under attack!

At this hour, we are reliably informed that the brave and elite North Pole Defense Force (NPDF, a highly-trained militia to protect the warm wishes and good cheer of Santa and his winter village during the holiday season) has been mobilized to meet the incursion.

Of course, the NPDF has stood off four previous assaults on the North Pole, including a rogue task force of 1930s-era Soviet armour, a tank-helicopter battlegroup of 1985 Team Yankee Soviets, and finally an hypertech assault force of Clan Ghost Bear ‘mechs from the Sci-Fi classic BattleTech universe.

Finally came a more supernatural assault. Just before Christmas last year, an army of toy dinosaurs originally meant as innocent playthings for imaginative children was animated into monstrosities of horrific evil by none other than Mumm-Ra, the powerful undead sorcerer of Thundercats infamy.

This year, however, Santa and his NPDF faces a threat like no other. From the corpse city of R’lyeh, none other than Cthulhu himself…yes, that Cthulhu…has sent three of his avatars to the North Pole to raise an army of minions and march on Santa’s workshop and Christmas village.

What army, you ask? Once again, the forces of darkness reach into the very innocence of childhood to animate a warped legion of evil. Simple green plastic army men, meant to conquer nothing more than the sandboxes and living room floors of happy children, have been drafted into this hellish crusade.

As some of the long-time subscribers may know, every year this time we have a special “battle.” It’s something of a tradition by this point, where some kind of “naughty” force raises a powerful army and mounts an assault on that most sacred of December objectives, Santa’s village and workshop at the North Pole.

Fortunately, Santa has a militia of his own, including elves for light infantry, enchanted snowmen for heavy infantry, reindeer for light cavalry, polar bears for heavy cavalry, special high-tech units crafted in a “secret R&D wing” of the elves’ toy worksho …

And of course no small amount of heroes who serve as commanders for this small but elite (and growing) force. Yes, every year I manage to find a few more small Christmas figurines to add to Santa’s defence militia!

As of now, Santa’s NPDF has the following order of battle:

Commander: Santa (aboard airborne sleigh command post. Executive Officer: Bumble Snowbeast (18th Level Hero). Polar Bear Brigade (commanded by Colonel Pete Polar Bear). Elf / Snowman Infantry Brigade (commanded by Colonel Justin the Woolly Mammoth).

Polar Bear Brigade contains a cadre of polar bear cubs (automatically win fire phase initiative since all foes are stunned by the cuteness of their adorable scarves), a grizzly bear hero, and a small detachment of reindeer cavalry for screening, recon, and flank protection.

The NDPF Infantry Brigade contains Snowman Heavy Infantry (six large and eight small figures), a battalion of light infantry elves (eight figures), a new squad of teddy bears (four figures), a Marine Corps “Toys for Tots” bear pulling a light, all-terrain assault sleigh, and of course Justin the Woolly Mammoth himself.

It occurs to me that this wing of the army is especially strong, Santa is reported to be considering transferring the Marine Corps Bear Squad to the Polar Bear Brigade, to being the army in better balance and also keep a “bear” theme going on the NPDF’s left wing.

Of course, there is always the NPDF Special Division, a secretive “skunk works” research & development bureau of Santa’s most devious “toymaker” elves. In years past we had “Rudolf” the F-4 Phantom fighter-bomber, “Battlemech Kirov,” and of course this year a devastating air strike from a great new weapon!

It’s been a great year at OnTableTop and Beasts of War. Here’s wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday Season, and of course a great New Year!

Good afternoon, Beasts of War / OTT:

One more time … In preparation for Christmas, we’re re-rolling out all the old “Christmas Carnage” battles, traditionally run every holiday season since 2014. In these battles, a nefarious, wicked, or simply “naughty” force raises a powerful army and mounts an assault on that most sacred of December objectives, Santa’s village and workshop at the North Pole.

These were originally presented in the forums of the old BoW 1.0 site, and when BoW 2.0 rolled out, these were lost to the mists of the 1.0 archives.

No longer!

So once again, Santa’s elite NPDF (North Pole Defense Force) must stand fast against dastardly villains who would ruin Christmas for everyone!   In 2014, the Soviets made a try at it with a force of 1939 armor.  Having failed, they came back for a modern “Team Yankee” try in 2015.  In 2016, the North Pole came under an even more deadly threat … BattleTech mechs of Clan Ghost Bear!

Having stood tall against all these villains, Santa and the NPDF faced assault yet again in 2017.  This time the threat was on a whole different level, not militaristic high-tech … but “the ancients spirits of evil” – led by none other than Mumm-ra, the Ever-Living, undead antagonist of Thundercats infamy!

Leaving behind his cadre of bumbling, incompetent fools on “Third Earth,” for this assault Mumm-ra decided to use his incredible powers of dark magic to raise a legion of Christmas toys.  Simple toy dinosaurs and dragons, innocent plastic playthings meant only to be treasured by happy, curious, imaginative children, were now imbued with “life,” at least enough to march forth and obey the sinister will of Mumm-Ra.

Would Santa and his North Pole Defense Force be able to withstand invasion by this hideous new threat?  Or would dark magic and malignant supernatural craft succeed where military technology had so often failed?

Thus concluded Episode IV of Christmas Carnage, first rolled out on Beasts of War back in December, 2017.  Mumm-Ra and all his “ancient spirits of evil” had come up short.  He and his mighty army could not compare to the might and holiday cheer of the North Pole Defense Force, leaving hims to go back and pick on less formidable foes like the Thundercats.

A-a-a-a-and that wraps it up for the “Christmas Carnage Retrospective.”  All four episodes from previous Holiday Seasons have been recovered from the “Indiana Jones Warehouse” that is the BoW 1.0 archives, now re-presented here in the OTT/BoW 2.0 projects page.  I certainly hope you’ve enjoyed them.

In more current news, 2018’s Christmas Carnage V has been confirmed, run, photographed, submitted, and ready for publication.  Stay tuned to OTT/BoW on Monday, December 24.  See if Santa comes back and wins the day yet again for a fifth time running!

Good afternoon, Beasts of War / OTT:

In preparation for Christmas, we’re re-rolling out all the old “Christmas Carnage” battles, traditionally run every holiday season since 2014. In these battles, a nefarious, wicked, or simply “naughty” force raises a powerful army and mounts an assault on that most sacred of December objectives, Santa’s village and workshop at the North Pole.

These were originally presented in the forums of the old BoW 1.0 site, and when BoW 2.0 rolled out, these were lost to the mists of the 1.0 archives.

No longer!

So once again, Santa’s elite NPDF (North Pole Defense Force) must stand fast against dastardly villains who would ruin Christmas for everyone!   In 2014, the Soviets made a try at it with a force of 1939 armor.  Having failed, they came back for a modern “Team Yankee” try in 2015.

In 2016, for Christmas Carnage III … Santa’s Christmas village and North Pole workshops are up against an even more deadly threat … BattleTech mechs of Clan Ghost Bear!

These are the descendants of Kerensky, true defenders of the Star League, crusaders who came within a whisker of re-conquering the fractious Houses of the Inner Sphere and re-uniting humanity for a Second Golden Age!

Invading the Inner Spheres and the Battle of Tukkayid, however, seems to have got them put on the “naughty” list, however, and they’ve come to the North Pole to present Santa with their grievances.

Can the NPDF rise to this exponentially greater threat?  Can Christmas be saved … yet again?

Thus concluded “Christmas Carnage” Episode Three, rolled out on Beasts of War in December 2016.  Once was enough for Clan Ghost Bear, they’d go back to picking on weaker foes like the regressive scum of the Inner Spheres.

But again, Santa’s workshop is far from safe.  2017 would bring yet another threat, and yet another test for the elite heroes of the NPDF.

Good afternoon, Beasts of War / OTT:

In preparation for Christmas, we’re re-rolling out all the old “Christmas Carnage” battles, traditionally run every holiday season since 2014. In these battles, a nefarious, wicked, or simply “naughty” force raises a powerful army and mounts an assault on that most sacred of December objectives, Santa’s village and workshop at the North Pole.

These were originally presented in the forums of the old BoW 1.0 site, and when BoW 2.0 rolled out, these were lost to the mists of the 1.0 archives.

No longer!

So once again, Santa’s elite NPDF (North Pole Defense Force) must stand fast against dastardly villains who would ruin Christmas for everyone!   In 2014, the Soviets made a try at it with a force of 1939 armor.  Having failed, it seems they are back for Christmas 2015, but this time with a much  more modern force of T-72 main battle tanks (complete with reactive armor panels) and Mi-24 Hind gunships!

Sure Christmas was doomed this time!  Or could the heroes of the NPDF pull out another miracle?

Thus concluded “Christmas Carnage” Episode Two, rolled out on Beasts of War in December 2015.  This victory for the NPDF was decisive, finally convincing the Soviets of the futility of their effort.  Two attempts on the North Pole had come to grief, they wouldn’t be mounting any more assaults on holiday cheer for the near future.

But that didn’t mean Santa’s workshop and village were safe!  The Soviets may have learned their lesson, but other forces were ready and waiting with even more powerful armies in their diabolical bids to conquer Christmas!

Stay tuned as the Christmas Carnage sagas continue, as we take a nostalgic look at who mounting the next all-out assault on the North Pole in December, 2016!

Good afternoon, Beasts of War / OTT:

As some of the long-time warhorses on the site may know, every year about this time we have a special “battle.”  It’s become something of a tradition by this point, where a nefarious, wicked, or simply “naughty” force raises a powerful army and mounts an assault on that most sacred of December objectives, Santa’s village and workshop at the North Pole.

Fortunately, Santa has a militia of his own, including elves for light infantry, enchanted snowmen for heavy infantry, reindeer for light cavalry, polar bears for heavy cavalry, special high-tech units crafted in a “secret R&D wing” of the elves’ toy workshop, and of course no small amount of heroes who serve as commanders for this small but elite (and growing) force.

Every year the “North Pole Defense Force” (NPDF) gets a little stronger, which is fortunate because every year the threat against the North Pole grows more severe.  Time and again the forces of evil try to ruin Christmas for everyone, and time and again Santa and his heroic militia must stand tall and defend their homestead (and Christmas) for all!

Will Santa’s village and workshop come under attack again this year?  No one knows for sure, but suffice it to say that the sophisticated “intelligence network” that Santa uses to compile his “Naughty or Nice” lists keep him well forewarned of any threat.  And yes, there are murmurings … yet another terrible army could well be marching toward the North Pole as we speak.

But before we get to that, as Historical Editor I feel it’s my job to plow through the archives and dust off the records of the previous four “Christmas Carnage” battles that have raged at the North Pole.  We started this tradition back in 2014, and since then it’s developed quite a following.  Formerly hosted in the forums of Beasts of War 1.0, they have been “lost to the mists of time” … until now.  Yes, I still have all the originals, which I will roll out in sequence here in the Projects feature of Beasts of War / OTT through the coming weeks, building up to … well, we don’t know what yet.  If Santa’s “NNA” (Naughty-Nice Agency) has learned anything about what may be coming, they keeping quiet for now.

So here’s the first ever Christmas Carnage, re-presented from 2014.  Here is where it all began, folks!  Stay tuned for subsequent editions (2015, 2016, and 2017).  Meanwhile, please accept my early wishes for a safe, happy, and epic 2018 Holiday Season!

Thus concluded “Christmas Carnage” Part One, first rolled out on Beasts of War back in December 2014.  But if anyone thought that would be the end of the issue, clearly they didn’t count on the Soviets coming back for another try, with far more modern equipment, in 2015!

Stay tuned as we continue to reconstruct the chronicles of the Christmas Carnage saga!