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I quit.

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This topic contains 27 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by  doomrider 1 week, 1 day ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)
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  • #1583341

    sundancer
    26435xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Seriously. But let me explain.

    This year 2020 has been a sh*tshow for most of us. I, for my part, have had it relatively easy. My wife and I were able to work normally most of the time, we had a full lockdown we managed to get through rather smoothly and even with our daughter being “in quarantine” at the moment for having contact with a teacher who was diagnosed positive on Covid 19 last week we still are more or less on the upper side of the coin. Bills get paid, food is in the fridge as is toilet paper in the bathroom.

    Still I feel exhausted, on edge and every extra bit of stress tips me over the edge into a state where I sit at my PC when all chores are done and I do… nothing. Yes, I did an Interview with Morgue Miniatures, a podcast with Ralph and also a live stream but that feels different. I haven’t touched paint, brush or anything related to it in 4 weeks. And that after I started the paintathon projects for myself start of October. With every passing day the last two weeks I felt more and more like “a looser” or a “poor excuse of a hobbyist”. Especially since the Blood Bowl goblin team is basically finished. Just the rim on the bases and varnish. But I can’t bring me to do it.

    Plus, my hobby room/work from home place looks like a pile of trash. (Lucky me that the webcam doesn’t go down that far) Or should I say “looked like”? Because when I got home today at around 5pm I decided to not paint any more. To pick up all the started projects that are scattered around the floor and the table. So after dinner with the family, the daughter brought to bed I started cleaning and putting away everything. It took me about three hours but now I can walk again without falling over primed necrons, tripping over the camera tripod or tip toeing between the boxes of building materials. The room is far from being clean but the table is almost completely free and I have the feeling that some weight has been taken of my shoulders.

    So I quit. I quit forcing myself into doing things that (currently) simply spark no joy. And with everything else sorted, packed away and freed up I can see myself finishing the goblins in the next days and then putting the paint stuff away for good (for now.)

    What I won’t quit is doing my Tuesday streams with Gerry, the Star Wars Podcast with Ralph and (if I find another victim interview partner) the interviews. I will still be around here and discord (yes I know, some got their hope up…. flock you! ;))

    Let me just say: it’s nice being here. Thanks for having me.

    PS: Maybe I’ll give the XLBS a rewatch when Mel was here. I think I remember there were some important things in it he had to say on “self care”. Take care everybody. I need something to drink now.

    Stay safe. (Remain indoors)

    #1583342

    crazyredcoat
    Participant
    6271xp

    We all get burned out now and then, mate. I’ve been there myself a few times and sometimes we just have to step away from things. The Event is not really helping anything right now, but we all do what we must to keep on top. Sometimes that means just stopping, and that’s perfectly normal and ok. Focus on things that make you happy and bring you joy, mate. Remember that the painting and the gaming and the minis may have been what started this gang, but it’s just as much a  loony bin community as any in the ‘real world’. Look after yourself, mate, and we’re always floating around somewhere on this site to chat!

    #1583343

    jodain
    8028xp
    Cult of Games Member

    @sundancer the key thing is to except that you are a hobbyfunk and then not be worried about it.  To be honest by tidying things away you are making a step forward, the pressure from those half finished project staring at you from the table can be horrific.  Inspiration will come along once more for you and I am sure you’ll pick up the brush etc.

    12 months ago I was in the same situation, a bit further along not wanting to pick up the brush for quite a while I’d go along to game with friends when I could.  I might be a teacher but my work has Saturday morning lessons and our gaming night was a Friday, which didn’t work very often for me.  I really couldn’t be bothered to get on and finish any of the many many half painted armies I had sitting around (let alone the completely unpainted ones).  What got me out of it was the Star Wars Legion Weekend and trying to paint the Rebel Trooper I’d purchased – I just needed to be involved with people doing something together at the same time.  For me the first lockdown gave me time, not having to travel to work and not having to work on Saturday, I started a hobby Zoom with some of the club members (which is still going strong) and we sit, paint and chat away about anything and everything (rugby, us elections, new games, old games etc).  The result for me has been a new inspiration I feel refreshed and I want to get paint on miniatures and armies finished, the biggest buzz was when I actually finished my Legion Army off (it’s not longer all painted but I purchased some more recently).

    I guess the aim of this ramble is to say don’t kick yourself take a break and wait for some new inspiration to pop along that will get you started.

    #1583344

    einar
    778xp
    Cult of Games Member

    It sounds to me like you made a good decision for yourself.
    I recognise some of what you said, not finding  the inner drive to work on projects. And yet be hard on yourself for not working on them. It sounds like you are taking a break from some of it, which can be a good thing. Returning to hobby stuff when it’s right for you might be key?

    Having a tidy workplace can give room for you to use your energy more positively, rather than being angry or upset at yourself.  I understand the feeling of weights lifting when you had tidied up.

    But more importantly. https://youtu.be/OQhbt2c8JqU

     

     

    #1583345

    tacticalgenius
    2822xp
    Cult of Games Member

    take a break, recharge the batteries, i stopped my hobby and then picked it up again.  It’s just a hobby, family more important than any miniature, painted or not.

    #1583348

    scribbs
    3064xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Definitely sounds like you have made a sensible choice. Any hobby should really be something that is enjoyable and engaging, and if you’re not feeling that vibe, a time out seems like a good move. Hopefully the act of tidying up was cathartic in itself, but having less visible clutter around may also be a good long term move, as it can be a distraction and source of stress in itself.

    It’s been a tough year for everyone  and no one is functioning at their best. I think you deserve credit for realising that you need drop brushes for a while and put the time into other things that currently give you more joy.

    #1583359

    laughingboy
    14631xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Hey man good to hear you not actually quitting us ( damn you and your clickbait title 😀 ) but completely feel you and I think many of us have been there throughout this year. It is something you work through certainly I found that and it at times feels like a thin line of enjoying it and not. Look after yourself and the family and will certainly see you around all the various places you pop up 😀

    #1583393

    sundancer
    26435xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Good morning CoGs. First of all, thank you for all your nice work. Yes @laughingboy the title was a bit on purpose but simply because it actually translated what I feel. So I went with it. Apologies for any micro heart attack on this 😉

    Now for a coffee and then work work.

    #1583412

    kantor72
    4502xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Much like @einar I recognise a lot of what you mention in myself.I’ll just say i’m staring at a month without painting anything in the rear view mirror.I’ve purchased ( and built ) stuff for my 3 main projects ( spoken of in soft tones in my very infrequent visits to the Unofficial Weekender ),with some stuff actually getting primed ( sadly mainly side project single mini’s and terrain of many types ).

    Again,as @sundancer did,i gave the hobby-cave a much needed spring clean ( it’s by no means complete though ),which went a small way to easing my mind but as far as brushes are concerned i have not picked one up in anger for what seems like aeons and I don’t see that changing any time soon.I do miss painting,but have no desire at all to pick one up at this time.

    #1583419

    phaidknott
    4462xp
    Cult of Games Member

    I used to work with a chap who was a keen Angler, in his mid 50’s he got a generous golden handshake and was able to retire early. Yet he came back to work doing a job way below his previous paygrade.

    I asked him why he had come back to work and wasn’t just fishing all the time (as he didn’t need the money). He said too much hobby time (and you do it all the time) means it becomes a “job”. When you’re painting and doing hobby because you think you should be doing it (rather than wanting to do it)…well that sounds like a job.

    With all the lockdowns we’re all getting more hobby time than ever, so perhaps our hobbies are replacing our jobs during these periods. The fix here is to walk away to do something different (another hobby, or a new one. or perhaps a DIY project around the house). Only come back to it after a furlough and when the hobby stops feeling like a job. The problem at the moment is we’re all getting lots of painting time, but we’re not getting the social/gaming time (which is the payoff), so no wonder that perhaps we’re all getting a feeling of “hobby funk”

     

    #1583456

    tankkommander
    Participant
    3760xp

    A bit clickbait tbh.

    I am taking a break would have been more accurate.

    #1583457

    blinky465
    12682xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Sorry to hear you feel like this – but it’s understandable!

    I recently gave away a load of minis for a similar reason – when I printed them, I was excited at the idea of having them painted up, looking cool on the tabletop (and, when not used for gaming, being proudly displayed on my hobby shelf). But day after day, week after week of looking at them in their various shades of grey, they made me feel bad. I felt like I had too much ahead of me and couldn’t see the day when I’d look forward to painting a mini that excited me, instead of clearing the backlog of “stuff to do”.

    So I just gave them away. It was quite cathartic. I don’t miss them.

    My workshop is an utter state – unfishined projects everywhere, mess and crap strewn about the place; I’m looking at far longer than 3 hours to get it all cleared up. But it needs doing. Because when it *was* clear, and everything put away, it was a joy to walk in there and think to myself “what should I do today?”

    At the minute it feels like the workshop dictates what I need to do, because it’s such a shit-tip. And wanting to start something new means pushing everything else to one side and trying not to feel guilty about it.

    Sometimes a good clear out and a tidy up, and taking a break is a good idea. I just did the same – left my painting alone and played with some electronics. Now I’m ready to paint again.

     

    Give us a shout when you’re ready to come back 😉

     

    #1583466

    sundancer
    26435xp
    Cult of Games Member

    @tankkommander  yes, I know but as I said earlier it spot on described my feeling at the time of writing. And I thought long on if I should start it this way. It wasn’t for the views or clicks. Even though I’m not blaming anybody not believing me on this since most content out there does clickbait to a degree.

    @blinky465  thanks mate. It’s exactly like you said. it became a “but I need to finish xyz”. Also: you made quite a point why I’m not getting a 3D printer any time soon: I’d simply print all the time all the stuff….

     

    Here’s to you folk. Cheers 🙂

    #1583493

    blinky465
    12682xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Maybe this is why you *need* a 3d printer?

    When I first got mine, I was printing 12 out of 24 hours a day (I would queue it up to print overnight, then set it printing again before going out to work in the morning). I had loads of minis. They made me happy. Then, after a little while, they made me sad. So I got rid of them.

    But even though my 3d printer sits idly most of the time now, I still buy into lots of Patreon subscriptions (typically five or six a month). It scratches my itch for collecting cool stuff – but now it’s digital rather than physical; I’ve a hard drive full of cool minis for when I’m ready to paint a few. But they’re not hanging around, taking up space and constantly reminding me of how little I’ve “acheived”.

    This months’ Great Grimoire release is a perfect example for me – https://www.patreon.com/greatgrimoire – I’ve absolutely no use for them in any kind of gaming, but love the idea of painting the minis up to make a cool diorama one day. If they were lumps of lead and I was paying £5/E7.00 or so per mini, the idea I had £50-or-so of pewter sitting on the desk for months on end would hurt my brain.

    But now I can still “collect” minis – albeit in digital form – even when I know I’ve no intention of printing or painting any of them for quite a while. No mess, nothing hanging around making me sad, but still the dopamine hit of “ooooh new and shiny”. But when I come to print and paint, I fill the build plate with 6-8 minis and paint them all in batch over a few nights (well, I usually get at least four or five done and have even been known to throw a couple in the bin when I simply can’t be arsed with them); hobby completed, more minis than I’d normal paint in one sitting, no great piles of grey shame nagging at the back of my brain.

    Get yourself a 3d printer! You won’t regret it 😉

    #1583494

    sundancer
    26435xp
    Cult of Games Member

    Get yourself a 3d printer! You won’t regret it 😉

    Nah, not yet. Next on the wish list are upgrades to the PC…. once CPUs are back in stock. Currently the AMD Ryzen 5 5600X is only available with a 50 – 60% markup on the suggested price of 299€…. and I’m not paying that much extra for “early access”

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