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Cocked Dice – Totally Genuine Tabletop Gaming News Blog

Cocked Dice – Totally Genuine Tabletop Gaming News Blog

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About the Project

Posts from my satirical Tabletop gaming news Blog Cocked Dice. All a bit of silly fun but done with a genuine love of tabletop games! Hope you enjoy! Here is the link to the full Blog http://cockeddice.blogspot.co.uk/

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Game of Talisman Finally Ends After Three Weeks

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A game of the classic Games Workshop board game Talisman: The Magical Quest Game has finally reached its end after three weeks of constant play.

Kevin Salter, Jennifer Dyer, Holly Gosling and Carl Miller started the game with the best intentions.  “We all met up to play some board games,” Jennifer said, “we played a few card games the Kevin suggested we play Talisman.”

“I used to play it all the time as a kid and really fancied playing it again,” Kevin said ” I dug out my old copy from the cupboard, dusted it off and set it up.  The box said it was a 120 min play time, so we thought we had plenty of time to play!”

After a gruelling three weeks, the game finally came to an end.  The gamers emerged from Kevin’s house, dishevelled and hungry.  “120 mins?” Holly said through the tears “why would a box lie to people like that!?”

From: 21/2/17

Beasts of Wars Warren to Host Whole Episode of The Weekender Only Using Innuendos

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From 8/2/17 –

Beasts of War presenter Warren Johnston is set to host an entire episode of their web series The Weekender only speaking sexual innuendos.

“It’s going to very hard,” Warren said about the task “but I will have to suck it up and take it on the chin.”  The show, that usually discusses news and events in the gaming world as well as the hosts’ own experiences and hobby, is a regular weekly series that has been running for many years now. “Some of the shows are very long” Warren commented, “but we can manage to cram a lot in.”

When asked if he was nervous about stunt Warren replied “I am scared stiff.  It really puts the willies up me! I think I’ll manage to pull it off though.”

Justin Mc Auly, another regular on the show, said: “It’s really unlike Warren,  I’ve never noticed him using innuendos in the past.”

Blood Bowl player still convinced it's the dices fault.

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Longtime Blood Bowl player Robert Dunt is still convinced that the reason he never wins at Blood Bowl is because of the dice.

Dunt, 37 from Suffolk, said recently “I’ve been playing Blood Bowl since 3rd edition in 1994.  I think in all that time I have only ever won four games.  Why would Games Workshop make the dice so discriminatory?  Why do the dice hate me so much?”

Robert, staring angrily at a set of Block Dice, continued “I love the game and have several teams but it’s the Block Dice,  I am sure they are weighted to land on the Skulls.  I have bought sixteen different sets and even made my own but they always seem to fail me.”

“People tell me that dice are just random but I am sure Blood Bowl dice are just evil.  I mean it can’t be that I am just bad at them, can it? Can it?”

 

from 27/1/17

6 Year long D&D Campaign finally reaches its 3rd Session.

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6 Year long D&D Campaign finally reaches its 3rd Session.

Kenny Downton, a Dungeon Master from Cornwall, has finally managed to get his D&D group together for the third game of their ongoing Dungeons & Dragons Campaign.

“It’s very exciting” Kenny, 32, said, ” it’s only been 2 years since our last session, it usually takes much longer to get a D&D session  together!”

Kate Ennis, who plays a Dwarf Fighter in the campaign said “the last session was great, well what I remember of it anyway.  I’m pretty sure Kenny will give us a recap.  If not I’ll be lost, to be honest.”

“I pretty much remember what happened in the last game.  I think they had a bar brawl.  This next session should be great though,  it should end with them just getting to the dungeon.”

From 2/2/17

40k fan furious about different plastic Space Marine toys

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40k fan furious about  different plastic Space Marine toys

Warhammer 40,000 fan Shaun Moorcok was, for some reason, outraged by the recent teaser image released by Games Workshop.

Shaun, 26 from Northampton, said “when I saw the image I thought it was a Squat in Power Armour but then a dark, horrible thought crept over me.  I think it might actually be a Space Marine Funko Pop figure!”

“I was in denial at first,  I would comment on any photo on social media of it telling people it’s clearly a Squat in Power Armour, but I knew what it was in my heart,  probably because it looks nothing like a Squat in Power Armour and exactly like a Pop Figure” Shaun said.

“It’s awful,  this is the last thing we need,  they will just be more plastic filling landfills in years to come.” Shaun continued while putting a box full of plastic toy soldiers onto his shelf.

Original Article:

https://cockeddice.blogspot.com/2019/01/40k-fan-furious-about-different-plastic.html

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